What If You’re Still Fighting PPD?

winding path through trees Last week was a big week here at Postpartum Progress. It was the site’s 10th anniversary, and therefore the 10th anniversary of Katherine’s start as a powerful advocate for women with postpartum depression and similar mood disorders. In celebrating that anniversary, you may have seen stories from a whole list of women who credit Katherine and her work with saving their lives and getting them to where they are today.

But what if you’re not better? What if you’re still fighting PPD?

Being exposed to a slew of stories from people who did recover and who are better while you’re not can leave you with questions of, “Why me?” Or, “Why not me? Why are they better when I’m not?”

You may feel as though you have done everything you’re supposed to and it hasn’t worked. You might wonder why it’s seemingly easy for some people but not for you. And you might look at all that celebrating and feel like giving up.

What I want you to know is this: You will get better.

What I can’t tell you is when that will happen or what will work or how you will know you’re past the worst of it.

All of us who have struggled and who can now say things like, “You saved my life” walked a long road to get there. We had good days and bad days and a glimmer of light before the darkness enveloped us again. We tried things that didn’t work and then found some that did. For some it may have been relatively easy,while others fought hard and long.

None of that may be reassuring for you, I know. You might be tired of fighting. You might feel bitter that life has tossed you something that requires so much work and energy and effort to get past. Or you might just not be able to see your own glimmer of light.

You don’t have to just trust that it will eventually be okay. I guess what I want you to know is that it’s okay if you look at the happy stories and want to throw something against your screen. It’s okay to be angry that your story is not among them, at least not yet.

So keep going, dear Warrior Mom. Keep fighting. Ask those of us on the other side for help, and we’ll be waiting here with open arms when you get here and are ready to share your own success story.

About Robin Farr

Robin Farr experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her first child in 2008 and found her way through it with the help of other Warrior Moms and through writing on her blog, Farewell, Stranger. You can find her on Twitter @RobinJFarr or on Facebook. Robin and her family live in Calgary, Alberta.

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  1. Jen Woods says:

    This is exactly what I needed to read today! I was diagnosed with PPA and Depression on January 20th of this year when my daughter was almost 5 months old. She is baby#5 for me and i never had a problem after any of my others. I took my antidepressant for 6 months exactly with my last day being on my ‘Climb Out of the Darkness’ climb in Olympia, WA. For the first 3 weeks after being off my meds I have felt great…dare I say almost 100% better than where i was at the beginning. But in the last week that ‘nagging,’ awful, panic stricken feeling has resurfaced and I’m feeling VERY overwhelmed and worried that it is all gonna come crashing down again. I constantly am having the ‘what if’ thoughts and it’s making me crazy!

  2. So important and so well said, Robin. xo

  3. story3girl says:

    I love you, Robin.

  4. So important to bring it back to hope for those still hurting. Thank you for your direction!

  5. Thank you, Robin. It is as if you know I needed this. I’m 2 1/2 years into my depression recovery (anxiety, too) and it gets very discouraging and tired, etc. Just STILL not feeling like the “old me” and wondering if I will ever be there. I have reached out tirelessly for help from others that might have suffered as long, too…for reassurance and have always found it. Thank you for this! You are awesome awesome.

  6. Thank you! I really needed this!

  7. Amen, Robin. A great piece.

  8. Much needed on a day like today. Thanks for the support.

  9. about100percent says:

    You are a light, Robin. Love this.

  10. indisposablemama says:

    Oh how I wish I had read that six years ago. Your words brought tears to my eyes because they are exactly what I needed to hear and yet are so far from what I heard. It’s a long journey. It’s frustrating. Some days you feel like you will never get out. And for me, I felt so incredibly guilty for not have gotten out sooner.

    I’m glad I found you. I wish I had found it sooner. Bless you for all that you do.

  11. Thank you for this.


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