A Message to Every Mom Struggling With Postpartum Depression

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heartOh, ladies. My dear friends. I hate to see any of you struggling through postpartum depression or anxiety. I’m so sorry you’re suffering right now.

In the last two weeks I have seen four of you get hospitalized for postpartum depression or a related illness. Four! And that’s only those of you with whom I’ve had direct contact. I’m sure there are more. So many of you are struggling.

Please know that you are not alone.

I know that postpartum depression and anxiety are scary, whether you get hospitalized or not.

I know it seems like it’s the end of your life as you knew it.

I know it can creep up on you and wham you over the head with no warning.

I know postpartum depression is infinitely unfair.

I know it doesn’t make any logical sense.

I know it feels like you’ll never get better.

I know it feels like you’re being punished for something you may have done wrong at another time.

I know it feels like you’re not a good mom.

I know it can feel like people would be better off without you around, “dragging them down”.

I understand. So many of us do. We know how postpartum depression feels. We know this feels like it’s way too much to ever be able to overcome. But you will. Even if you can’t see it, and I know most of you can’t right now, you will. If you can’t believe in yourself in this moment, we’ll do it for you.

You are a good mom. Whatever path you have to take to get better – therapy, medication, hospitalization — we’re proud of you for taking these steps. We’re proud of you for recognizing you deserve better. That this is not the way it’s supposed to be and you don’t have to live like this. If it took a few weeks for you to recognize it or several months or more than a year, that’s okay. We’re still proud of you.

We hold your heart in our hands.

 

Photo credit: © Dwight Davis – Fotolia.com

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About Katherine Stone

is the founder & editor of Postpartum Progress. She was named one of the ten most influential mom bloggers of 2011, a WebMD Health Hero and one of the top 25 parent bloggers using social media for social good. She also writes the Fierce Blog, and a parenting column for Disney's Babble.com.

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  1. Being hospitalized for mental illness is terrifying enough without a baby left at home, I can’t even imagine how much harder a baby makes it. It would be so much better for everyone involved if there was greater understanding regarding the legitimacy of mental illness/health issues (whatever you want to call them) and how they can start during pregnancy and postpartum so that women could get the help they need without such a drastic and scary measure.

  2. As a survivor mama who too was hospitalized – to all the moms Katherine is currently referring to, YOU WILL GET BETTER! I am the best I ever have been and am FREE of anxiety I battled my whole life and didn’t realize until after my baby was born. YOU WILL MAKE IT! Even if this is your first baby, and you think you’ll never ever ever be in the place to be ready for another baby – I can honestly say that I am ready and happily expecting baby #2!

    • Elisabeth says:

      Dear ladies, I’m from Holland and suffered from PPD as well. I never expected something like PPD would happen to me and I really felt like my life would never be normal and fun again. I recovered quite fast thanks to AD but also had my down-moments after I thought it was all in the past. Those were the hard moments! To feel like you will never be yourself again. But now, 10 months after my son’s birth I already feel good for MONTHS and it IS over and I feel like me again. And all you moms out there, we all know how it feels and that it doesn’t feel that you will be yourself again but we all know that you will be just fine in the near future! I found this website when I was having a bad moment a few months ago and it so helps to know you’re not alone and that we’re all strong. What I learned from this website and helped me a lot: be nice to yourself. Say it out loud: I’m doing good! I’m a good mom! I will get better! My heart goes out to every mom struggling but I’m 100 % sure you will all get better! Thank you katherine for this website and for the wonderfull stories and truths you are posting, it’s sooo recognizable. Hang in there everyone!

    • Cristina Miller says:

      Rachelle, I love hearing that you are ready for #2! This gives me hope. I never thought having just one baby would put me over the edge so much with PPD/PPA. It is such a scary thing and can be so indescribable to those who can’t understand and have never been through it. I love this site! LOVE LOVE LOVE to all. Hug yourselves tight and believe. I continue to fight if you all will. xo

  3. Kim Rogers says:

    So good Katherine… You are not alone ladies!! I experienced all of those things mentioned, and with treatment became myself again (my happy, confident, fun self!). Your life is not over!! You are loved and cared for by everyone associated with this site. We are in your corner…

  4. My thoughts are with everyone. I have never suffered from this, but have friends who have. My heart goes out.

  5. I suffered for over four years. This illness totally sucks. I am proud of all the moms out there who are brave enough to fight this thing. It cannot be an easy decision to be hospitalized, but you made that decision. You are strong. You are stronger than this thing. We will be waiting with open arms when you get back.

  6. I needed this tonight! My son is 11 weeks old and I am sick of not feeling like myself. My husband returned home from his third deployment last week and I now feel like it’s getting worse for me. We have always been able to reconnect after a deployment, but this time has been very different. I am extremely irritable and find myself saying horrible things to him and baby. After my fits I feel disgusted with myself and imagine taking myself away from their lives so they no longer have to deal with me. The other night I actually just left the house. I turned off my phone and drove with the intention of not coming back home. Ever. The guilt is what made me turn around and go back home, but once I arrived I regretted the decision and wished I would have stayed away.

    I am so ready for help and after researching I know that I have PPD. Everything is now making sense. My loss in appetite, irritability, anger, crying, horrible thoughts. I just want to be a great wife and mother. I have the most amazing husband and I hate how I haven’t been able to show my appreciation.