The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety (in Plain Mama English)

The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety
What does it feel like to have postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety?  What are the signs or symptoms? How do you know when you have it? And if you do have it, what should you do?

Below we will explain the signs of postpartum depression and anxiety, but in what we call “plain mama English.”  We won’t use words like hypomania or dysthymia—the kind of confusing terms you might see elsewhere. We will use the words thousands of other moms have used who have already been through this. Words that make sense. After that, we’ll give you some links to some really helpful resources and information. You are not alone. Here at Postpartum Progress we understand and we’re happy to help.

When you read the two different symptoms lists below, one for postpartum depression and the one after it for postpartum anxiety and OCD, please remember a few very important things:

  1. You may not be experiencing all of the symptoms listed below or even most of them. Postpartum depression and anxiety are not “one-size-fits-all” illnesses. Your experience may include just a few of the symptoms and you may not have others at all.
  2. Many people have a feeling like the ones listed below every now and then, for a day or two. We all have bad days. Postpartum depression and anxiety are not just bad days. Women with PPD or anxiety have symptoms like these most of the time, for a period of at least 2 weeks or longer, and these symptoms make it feel very hard to live your life each day.
  3. Postpartum depression and anxiety are sometimes “comorbid.”  This means you can have a bit of both, or all of both. If you have symptoms on both lists, that’s not unusual.

Postpartum Depression Symptoms

Okay.  Here we go. You may have postpartum depression if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:

  • You feel overwhelmed. Not like “hey, this new mom thing is hard.” More like “I can’t do this and I’m never going to be able to do this.” You feel like you just can’t handle being a mother. In fact, you may be wondering whether you should have become a mother in the first place.
  • You feel guilty because you believe you should be handling new motherhood better than this. You feel like your baby deserves better. You worry whether your baby can tell that you feel so bad, or that you are crying so much, or that you don’t feel the happiness or connection that you thought you would. You may wonder whether your baby would be better off without you.
  • You don’t feel bonded to your baby. You’re not having that mythical mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines. Not everyone with postpartum depression feels this way, but many do.
  • You can’t understand why this is happening. You are very confused and scared.
  • You feel irritated or angry. You have no patience. Everything annoys you. You feel resentment toward your baby, or your partner, or your friends who don’t have babies. You feel out-of-control rage.
  • You feel nothing. Emptiness and numbness. You are just going through the motions.
  • You feel sadness to the depths of your soul. You can’t stop crying, even when there’s no real reason to be crying.
  • You feel hopeless, like this situation will never ever get better. You feel weak and defective, like a failure.
  • You can’t bring yourself to eat, or perhaps the only thing that makes you feel better is eating.
  • You can’t sleep when the baby sleeps, nor can you sleep at any other time. Or maybe you can fall asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep no matter how tired you are. Or maybe all you can do is sleep and you can’t seem to stay awake to get the most basic things done. Whichever it is, your sleeping is completely screwed up and it’s not just because you have a newborn.
  • You can’t concentrate. You can’t focus. You can’t think of the words you want to say. You can’t remember what you were supposed to do. You can’t make a decision. You feel like you’re in a fog.
  • You feel disconnected. You feel strangely apart from everyone for some reason, like there’s an invisible wall between you and the rest of the world.
  • Maybe you’re doing everything right. You are exercising. You are taking your vitamins. You have a healthy spirituality. You do yoga. You’re thinking “Why can’t I just get over this?” You feel like you should be able to snap out of it, but you can’t.
  • You might be having thoughts of running away and leaving your family behind. Or you’ve thought of driving off the road, or taking too many pills, or finding some other way to end this misery.
  • You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy.”
  • You are afraid that this is your new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.
  • You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.

Postpartum Anxiety & OCD

You may have postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:

  • Your thoughts are racing. You can’t quiet your mind. You can’t settle down. You can’t relax.
  • You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby.
  • You are worried. Really worried. All. The. Time. Am I doing this right? Will my husband come home from his trip? Will the baby wake up? Is the baby eating enough? Is there something wrong with my baby that I’m missing? No matter what anyone says to reassure you, it doesn’t help.
  • You may be having disturbing thoughts. Thoughts that you’ve never had before. Scary thoughts that make you wonder whether you aren’t the person you thought you were. They fly into your head unwanted and you know they aren’t right, that this isn’t the real you, but they terrify you and they won’t go away. These thoughts may start with the words “What if …”
  • You are afraid to be alone with your baby because of scary thoughts or worries. You are also afraid of things in your house that could potentially cause harm, like kitchen knives or stairs, and you avoid them like the plague.
  • You may feel the need to check things constantly. Did I lock the door? Did I lock the car? Did I turn off the oven? Is the baby breathing?
  • You may be having physical symptoms like stomach cramps or headaches, shakiness or nausea. You might even have panic attacks.
  • You feel like a captive animal, pacing back and forth in a cage. Restless. On edge.
  • You can’t eat. You have no appetite.
  • You’re having trouble sleeping. You are so, so tired, but you can’t sleep.
  • You feel a sense of dread, like something terrible is going to happen.
  • You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy.”
  • You are afraid that this is your new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.
  • You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.

Now that you’ve gone through these lists, are you thinking, “How the heck does this lady know me? Is there a hidden camera in here?” Nope. What this should tell you is that you are not alone and you are not a freak and you are not highly unusual. If you are having these feelings and symptoms then it is possible you are experiencing common illnesses that 15 to 20% of new mothers have, and they are completely treatable. We’re happy to be here to support you.

Postpartum Depression Help

Postpartum Progress is a nonprofit created by moms for moms with maternal mental illness. We know what it’s like and we know how hard it is. Here are some of our best resources for moms with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and related illnesses:

 Other Things You Should Know

  • If you are pregnant and are having symptoms similar to those listed above, you should know that you aren’t unusual either. You may have depression or anxiety during pregnancy, which is just as common.
  • If you are having the symptoms listed above, call your doctor. There is no need to suffer alone. Don’t try to wait this out. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help.
  • If you are already past the first year postpartum and still suffering, you could still have postpartum depression or anxiety. Perhaps you never reached out for help in the first year and you are still struggling. Call your doctor. You can still get help for this.
  • One last but very important thing: If you are having moments where it seems like you can see or hear things no one else does, if you are feeling paranoid as if others are out to get you, if you are feeling that you or your baby are somehow related to the devil or God in some way, or if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, it’s important to reach out for help right now. These symptoms require immediate attention as they could be signs of postpartum psychosis. If you have these symptoms, your illness has the potential to take over and lead you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. In order to avoid that it is important to reach out for help right away so that trained professionals can help you get stabilized and healthy.

Perinatal mood disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help.

Tell Us What You Think

    • Try and focus on the good things. The babys smile, her laugh, etc. I keep telling myself just to breathe. For me, my twins have been my blessing. The only reasons that have kept me going. Best of luck.

      • Karen how do u manage with ur twins? How old are they? Have twin girls 8weeks old and I can tell you it’s hard I am struggling ohh Lord

      • What if the smiles, cooing, and giggling don’t really provide anything more than a temporary distraction?

        • Go to the doctor and ask for help. you’re not week you’re smart and you’ll feel so so much better. I talk to a therapist also. They can give you different ways to handle and cope with all the craziness. Sometimes we can’t handle everything alone. That’s why all these awesome helplines are offered to us. We aren’t the first to reach out and we won’t be the last. And once you get bet better you can be a great advocate for others on how you made it through the struggle and even though it wasn’t easy they will too. 🙂

            • I am going thru it now this is the worse all I do is cry it’s getting a lil better Im waiting on my Dr. To get help a.s.a.p this is not me at all

              • I’m so sorry, Dava. I’m so glad you’ll be seeing your doctor. Help is out there, and you WILL get better with time and help. Peace to you!

              • Hi Dava, I have the anxiety part and i just had my little one last week. If you ever just need to talk let me know. I find that sometimes talking things out helps me.

                • I had twins and I feel overwhelmed I need to find help. My husband cheated on me and it’s making it worst. I hardly eat and super tired and I cry a lot. I feel
                  Like a need help and I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I ask for help my family will probably think I’m making it up

                  • Hi Jessica,

                    The fears about what your family will think are part of the illness. We feel really insecure and scared because of depression and/or anxiety. Remember that you are worthy of help, and loved. You can reach out to your doctor or a therapist, if that’s an option for you. You don’t have to talk to your family about it until you feel ready. Having twins is A LOT and then you have been through the trauma of being cheated on. I’m so sorry. Anyone would be struggling. You’re not alone and you are not weak or at fault. Your body and mind are doing through so much. I’m sending you peace.

                  • Jessica,

                    You need to better take care of yourself in order to take care of your twins. If you starve yourself, you’re spiking hormones that make you irritable, tired, hungry, then, you fall into a vicious circle. Try reading a book, watching a comedy, write in a journal. Venting in writing is therapy. Talk to your family, pretending things are OK is not. If they don’t believe you, a professional should be able to guide you. Praying for strength helps, too. I keep a journal with things that make me happy whether that’s a song, a food, or remember my happy jar where I gather together moments of happiness.

                    Best of luck with your amazing twins! If your husband cannot see the strong woman you are, let him go. But if you can fix something together…that’s up to you. Put yourself first just like he did 😉

                    • Hi I just had my second child sept 1st. I thought that it would such a great experience being off work with them both. I saw myself embracing this great bonding time with ease. I have been working out and eating well and I have a husband who is amazing and super supportive . Yet here I am super isolated and depressed. I fell like my world is a constant screaming match with my 4 yr old who by the way is a completely different child towards me since her brother arrived but it’s just with me no one else. Then there’s my son who is impatient and is the greediest baby alive I am breastfeeding and I am all about what’s best for a child but he seriously makes me want to quit. To all the moms who are struggling on this forum u are not alone and the beautiful you is still there more so now because we have done the ultimate in creating a life. Selfless beyond measure. I am sharing this post cause I needed to get it out without feeling misunderstood or judged. I hope no one minds and I hope we are all inspired to continue to be our best for ourselves and our children reap the rewards of that best you. Good lick to all and good night

      • You can’t just think positive and the thoughts magically go away. Unfortunately it’s a disorder and it has to be treated. It doesn’t reflect who you are.

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  93. Thanks for the list many moms have post part depression with not just the 1st pregnancy. Maybe talking about rage or harming other kids in the home?

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  125. I feel lost! I want to cry but cant* I feel on edge 24/7* I feel anxious, scared, worried, irritated, sad, nauseous, shaky! But yet sometimes happy. I can’t explain it!!!! Help:(

    • Have you called your doctor Demi? That would be a good place to start. Those feelings could be just temporary, but if you find they last for a couple of weeks in a row without going away and that they prevent you from functioning as you would like, it’s definitely worth reaching out to a healthcare provider. ~ K

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    • Tracie, for some moms it goes away and for others it can turn into chronic depression or anxiety. This is why getting treatment is so important. If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression symptoms, whether you’re in the first year postpartum or not, there is help. I would definitely reach out to my doctor to discuss how you’ve been feeling and what your treatment options might be.

      • Sometimes when I get out of the house I get anxious ti get home. This is the only symptom I have I have a three month old and a four year old everyone said it will go away its just because I had a c section and don’t get enough sleep. But I want to go out
        and do stuff but fear I am to exhausted

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  133. I don’t have insurance. Are there any free agencies that help with this? My daughter is almost 10 months old and I haven’t felt like myself since I’ve had her. I have two older children and didn’t feel anything like this after having them and I just can’t get past this weird moody/irrational feelings. I feel lost and numb and just not normal.

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  154. I am experiencing this, is there a prescription I can get? It’s gotten a little better with some counseling and I have started a part time job

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  167. I already knew several of those are things I’ve been struggling with, but this was written so well that it really and truly helped me remember that it’s all okay. I have to share this. Thank you for this.

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  172. Im feeling almost everything listed on here but im scared to get my kids taken away. I Have two Kids a 2 year Old and a 7 month

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  175. This is the first site I’ve read in my search and I feel like I don ‘t need to look further. However, I will because that what good research does. Nevertheless, I find the information on this site to be comprehensive and informative. I now know that this is what my daughter is experiencing. She never got the help she needs since having my granddaughter almost 3 years ago. But, I’m thankful to know that I’ve done some of the things suggested in “how to help mothers with PPD”. Thank you soooo much….P.S. Please let me know if she can still get the help she needs at this stage.

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  177. The Plain Mama English was a life saver. I don’t even want to know where I would be if I didn’t click on that link. You have inspired me to start a blog myself. Big hugs! I will forever be grateful!

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  179. I have no job no money because all of what my ex makes goes to the baby or bills. How can I get help with no income to spend on myself. I have the feelings from both lists and my daughter is almost 10 months. I feel like I’m drowning.

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  192. i am suffering and see no way out. i was a high functioning professional, recently married, new baby. i thought i was in the prime of my life. then i started getting panic attacks and severe depression/suicidal ideation (i think due in part to medications and side effects with emotional numbing, apathy, and SI) and have been in treatment for months with no sign of true improvement. i’ve lost all hope by this point. i don’t even know who i am.

    • Sy – I’m so sorry. Losing sense of who you are is absolutely terrifying. You are not alone. It can take time to improve from these illnesses and sometimes that entails working with several doctors or trying different medications until you find what works for you. Don’t lose hope, you will get better.

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  202. I don’t know I experience iwas stress depress since I gave birth to my son it was 2006 I don’t like noise when my kids they talking to much I was so mad and angry its easy to me to get angry and after half hour I’m so guilty idont know what I’m gonna do.

  203. Pingback: Why is it so hard to accept you have postpartum depression? | BabyNowUSA

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    • I mean im about to lose it.. The noise, the whinning, the crying, noise noise noise. The attachment.. The clinging.. I cant breath.. I cant think.. I cant get anything done.. Things are always getting dirty… I hate dirty and unorganized…Feeling fat and unaccomplished worthless.. Like a terrible mother.. I cant get a moment of time to myself. Cant afford daycare.. Dad works is bread winning so when he gets home he’s intitled to his peace… They fo everywhen i go.. Im about to have a nental break down.. I find myself screaming and crying.. I also have ptsd.anxiety and depression…. Im just screwed.. I cant focus on school. I cant focus on my writing… I need help

    • Shanta – Depression can show up anytime, and some studies say it’s just as common 4 years after a child is born as it is right after birth. The bottom line is, becoming a mother is a tough, tough thing and kids are hard. No matter how old your child is, it’s important to reach out for help and talk to your doctor about treatments for depression. You will get better.

  205. Pingback: Postpartum Anxiety - The Happy Home Mommy

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  207. I had my son six weeks early. He is still in the hospital, his due date was April 1st. I adopted him to a great family, i was raped and am not ready to be a mother. I’ve been really moppey as my fiance says. I cannot eat without throwing up i have pre-eclampsia still from my pregnancy. I just don’t know if I’m depressed or what to do.

    • Hannah – Talk with your doctor. The symptoms you describe sound like they should be shared with a medical professional. Depression needs treatment too. Get yourself some help, you don’t have to keep feeling so awful.

  208. is it uncommon to have a dream that leads to anxiety or depression…..i had one when i was pregnant about 1 1/2 years ago— it happened when i was 6 months pregnant— and it was terrible.. in my dream a short old man came out of a black hallway, and said you may die in three years. i woke up and cried and cried, and it still over comes me sometimes, it was very scary! do i believe it or….

  209. I’m curious to know….I’m on the Smart Patients open forum for PPD and was wondering what people are referring to when they talk about IT’s (in reference to PP Anxiety). My guess has been Interrupting Thoughts. Thanks for your time,

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  212. My child is three now she was two when this happened to me could this be post depression anxiety what do I do to fix this

    • Hi Tasha, depression and anxiety are very common among mothers during their childbearing years. Help is available. A good place to start is reaching out to your doctor or to a therapist for help. You don’t have to keep feeling like this. You will get better.

  213. My daughter in law is hospitalized for postpartum in Georgia but no one seems to know what to. Where can I get a list of places in metro Atlanta that specializes in postpartum depression

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  218. thank you for this. spot on. we need to be vigilant–reaching out, helping mommas, and guiding them to care.

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  222. What if you have PPD and no support system because your family just thinks you’re crazy because of some other reason?

    • Momto8 — I’m sorry you feel you have no support system. Is there a friend or distant relative you can confide in? Even if your immediate family isn’t supporting you, you can still get help. Talk with a doctor or a therapist about how you are feeling. We understand. You are not alone.

  223. I think what you’ve written here is important. I had always heard of postpartum depression, but it’s important to emphasize that postpartum symptoms aren’t exclusively sadness. Feeling overwhelmed, enraged, irritable, etc. is crucial to recognize. I had a really great doctor, your OB can be helpful at times like these…

  224. I didn’t think I have postpartum depression. Just insensitive people telling me all the time that I have it even though I was the happiest I have ever been, a husband that can’t seem to understand that even I deserve sleep, and a slew of people who make it perfectly clear I am doing everything wrong

  225. Pingback: Guest post: Breastfeeding + postpartum psychosis, a highly unlikely love story ⋆ The Boob Geek

  226. my roommates gave birth to her first child two months again. She has become suspicious that i am taking something that may harm her baby which is totally baseless. I am wondering if she is suffering from postpartum depression? i am now being pissed off about some of the things she is doing. She started checking on me while i am in my bed room and she is also suspicious when i go to the bathroom. i am feeling being harassed. I am asking if that is the case i could understand her and try to help. Thank you

    • Fasa – It’s possible, but hard to know without hearing her whole story. I’d encourage you to ask her how she’s feeling and see if she might open up to you about new motherhood. You could also share some of your feelings with her and ask her how you can all get along better.

  227. this so perfectly describes my granddaughter and confirms my suspicion. but. can’t. seem. to get help for her and fear a bad outcome. This site helps me and I will stay on my mission to somehow.

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  232. Base on what ive read . suffering from postpartum depression 🙁 do i need to consult to my doctor right now .. Im worried to my merrage life . i feel like im going crazy 🙁

  233. I just had a baby and i have been experiencing this symptoms.. Im scared to go to the Dr..What if i dont get any support from my family about this?what if this wont go away?

    • Nori,

      It may be scary to talk about feeling this way, but it is best to see your doctor if you are experiencing symptoms. You can get help and start to recover. Your doctor can talk to you about treatment options for your particular symptoms. Try to believe that seeking professional help will get you to a better place, and peace to you!

  234. I feek like everything i just read is whats happening to me… I just want to grab my newborn and run away from everyone I know. Be alone with no one to help me, but wanting the gelp. Its difficult to explain :'(

    • Blanca,

      It is hard to explain, you’re right. But it makes sense to those of us who have gone through it, or are going through it. You are certainly not alone. Please keep talking about it, and reach out to people you trust if you feel you need help. We all need help sometimes! Peace to you and yours…

  235. I feel like most of the stuff listed under PPD/anxiety, I am feeling, but my kids are 5 and 3 now. Would that be considered postpardem or would it just be depression/anxiety? I continuously have these episodes, and it’s becoming exhausting.. To the point that I do just want to “run away” and leave everything behind..

    • I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, and for what may have been a long time. Because we are not medical professionals, we can’t answer your question but I do want to encourage you to explore it further with your doctor or a medical health professional. Many women do begin to experience anxiety and depression symptoms postpartum and if not treated, these symptoms can continue. It’s best to talk it over with someone trained to help you explore it. You are worth it, Mama.

  236. Pingback: Postpartum Depression: How Much Of This Is In My Head? | Pamela Zimmer - Bestselling Author, Speaker, Work-From-Home Mom

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    • I’m sorry, Asia. I’m sorry you weren’t taken seriously and I hope you can find some people who will. Maybe a friend you can trust. And it would be very good to speak to a doctor about how you are feeling, especially one that specializes in postpartum mental health. There are many psychiatrists with this specialty. And therapists as well. Peace to you.

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  265. I have been having all these symptoms for a little over a year,due to a miscarriage of twins. And have been trying to deal with it,and my OBGYN. said it was all in my head ,get more exercise, or try yoga or try this. I do ALL that and Im still so Angry and enraged and distant with my Husband and 8 yr old. I was Never like this before . My Mother has even noticed Im Very Different than My Old Self .

    • Hi Chanda,

      I’m sorry you’ve been hurting and I’m sorry for your loss. Maybe it’s time to try a different doctor? It sounds like you need to talk to someone who understand perinatal mood disorders. Help is out there and you are so worth getting better. Peace…

  266. Pingback: Hayden Panettiere Gets Help For Postpartum Depression: How You Can Know The Signs, Symptoms Of Serious Baby Blues | Daily America

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  268. Well my name is sarah i do belive I’m going threw postpartum depresion. i am not the same me i feel mad and sad all the time never have pations for my kids but i love them dearly. i need some ones appenion?

    • Hello Sarah, I’m so sorry you are struggling. I hope you can find some help where you live. You need to reach out to a trusted doctor and tell them exactly how you are feeling. Or a therapist. People struggling with this illness need help to get better, but you CAN get better in time and with that help. Click on the “Find Help” tab on this website and see if there are some providers listed in your area. There is also a list of support groups. We all need help sometimes. You are not alone.

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  277. My partner is going through a lot of the things that have been mentioned here i really appreciate that this has been posted it helps me as a father understand more what my partner is going through and what help i can get to help thank you.

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  282. I feel like anything my partner does is wrong im constantly angry my baby is 8 weeks old i was 3 weeks early and he spend over a week in neo natal and i blame my partner for stressing me since his been born im snappy i feel traped, unloved like im on my own like everyone is against me i dont want to leave the house i just want to stay locked away from the world to protect my baby because something might happen or go wrong i dont no wht to do i feel like im taken over my anger im jst not me anymore

    • Sophie, you can get through this, but you need help. Have you reached out to a therapist or doctor? We all need help sometimes. I hope you have someone you trust you can talk with. I’m sending you peace.

  283. What if my baby is not such a baby anymore… nearly 2… and I have a lot of these feelings towards my husband? I love him so much and can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m always irritated or angry and have no patience towards him like nothing he does is right.
    “Everything annoys you. You feel resentment toward your baby, or your partner, or your friends who don’t have babies. You feel out-of-control rage. You feel nothing. Emptiness and numbness. You are just going through the motions.”
    Am I just being weak? Maybe I’m just tired? Something has to be wrong with me, right? My baby is a toddler?! Is this just me still trying to figure out how to balance being a working mom and I’m failing?! I feel like I need to talk to someone about this feelings I’m trying to suppress but who can I trust?

    • Hi mama. I totally get it. It’s hard. I don’t have all the answers, but I think it’s important to consider therapy to work through it. Sometimes that outside perspective is so crystal clear and sheds light on things you are confused about because you are in the middle of it. Yes, exhaustion and stress can certainly be a part of it. It’s best to talk it over with a professional, to figure it out. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Thank you for your honest questions, Heather

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  285. Feel like crying over everything, going into a dram then crying my baby is 12 days old and is not like it’s my first baby it’s my 5th but I still feel like I’m not going to beable to cope when my husband goes back to work and when his not hear baby crus I cry cause I feel it’s something I have done

    • Hi Caroline, I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Have you thought about reaching out to your doctor? If you have a doctor you trust, it would be so good to tell them exactly how you’re feeling so they can get started helping you. You can most certainly get better with time and help!

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  290. I’m a mother again after 13 years.. And it’s pretty hard to swing back into that mode.. And I hate when people pick my baby up and hold her and I say put her down they look at me like I’m crazy even her dad I don’t want him to hold her ..

  291. Pingback: Postpartum Mood Disorders | Family Milestones

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  293. I believe my partner has a few of these symptoms but she has taken our 1 year old and 1 month old to her mother’s,she’s persistant she no longer wants to be with me but I know sheshe not herself and she did exactly the same with our first,she won’t pick up my calls or reply and has compleatly blocked me out,she says there’s nothing wrong with her and no body can get through to her I don’t know what to do,everyone says to leave her to calm down?but I don’t know?

    • Brent, I’m sorry. I know you must be so frustrated and feeling so helpless. I wish there was an answer for you, but I’m afraid you can only wait and hope and try to do your best to let her have some time. You can’t force someone to see they need help unless they are a danger to themselves or others. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope she becomes willing to talk and get help. Peace to you.

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  296. I didn’t mean to get PPD/anxiety. I feel very blessed to have my son! I experienced a lot of complications after delivery that could have killed me so my outlook on life is not a shallow one. Its very hard to admit this is what’s going on. The anxiety is unbearable at times and the smallest things can trigger it. A million negative thoughts, panick attacks, fear, worry, obsession, feeling like your trapped, like your in slow motion like you are stuck in quick sand, the feeling of you have to get the laundry done the dishes the meals and your brain is so frazzled you can’t get anywhere; you try but it feels like it’s impossible to accomplish a simple task, is not anything a (new)mother wants to go through!! We as women get to experience the greatest blessing on earth!. Carry our children and birth them. Then we raise them and realize maybe a few weeks, months or year that hey, I have perinatal mood disorder and it kept me from enjoying my first few months with my baby. Then we go back to work and really? I just took maternity leave and I only enjoyed part of it. Which leads to us going this really sucks! I wish it was easier for every mother. Especially first time mothers. I had myself convinced I wasn’t going to experience this my third time having my babies. Then it happened. Just shows we really aren’t in control. I hope every mom gets help when she needs it. Our families depend on us!

  297. Pingback: mikala's musings » Blog Archive » Postpartum Depression II

  298. Pingback: An Honest Conversation With Women Of Color About Postpartum Mood Disorders | Fabonista

  299. These systems fit my wife to a T! She moved out and left the baby with me and is saying she’s not depressed! How do you help some one when they say they are fine? I’m trying desperately to save our marriage please help!

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  303. All the treatment section refers to is depression. No mention of treating anxiety. I am fine until I am still in bed and try to sleep. Then the panic attack sets in. Nonstop thoughts of climate change, earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, my daughters struggling to survive a dystopian future. I feel powerless as it is all too big to take on.

    This started at eight months of my second pregnancy and has been my life for half a year now. I feel very alone, like I am the only one who “sees” these things. It is a horrible sense of doom and no one seems to understand because I am not sad, I am just terrified.

    Where is the treatment for this? Can your site help me? I am not depressed. I can handle my life with children just fine. Its handling the world outside my family that suddenly seems impossible.

  304. If this is untreated, can it last 2-3 years? Also, my niece recently had a child late in life – she and her husband already had 5 children with the last one being high school age. In the last 2-3 months she has become angry all the time and she is now taking her anger out on her mother. Could she be going through postpartum depression? None of us understand why she is so angry and her oldest daughter pretty much takes care of the 3 year old son. Can you please offer some advice? I have tried to talk to her about seeing a counselor but she refuses. She doesnt think anything is wrong, but clearly there are some issues going on here, but neither she or her husband want to accept responsibility for her behavior. She has a way of turning it on the “other person”. We need your help. Thank you!

    • Hi Michelle,

      It’s so hard to feel helpless. I wish there were some easy answers for you and your family. If your niece is not willing to get help, there isn’t a way to make her unless she is a danger to herself or someone else. I know it is so frustrating, but it’s the reality. Some people benefit from going to counseling themselves (like her mother) to learn how to approach the person and keep boundaries, how to not take on the stress and anger. That seems unfair, to do the work “for” the person, but really it is a way for your niece’s mother to care for herself. She can’t deal with this unless she’s strong and healthy. I’m sorry you are all going through this. So often mamas feel a lot of shame, so much that they can’t even really allow themselves to face it. Her defensiveness may be a result of that. Hang in there and keep trying, as a family, to gently care for your niece while hoping that she will become open to your suggestions and insight.

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    • Mama, you have SO much on your plate with triplets. I hope you have reached out for help. We all need help. Have you spoken with a doctor or therapist? I hope that you will consider that if you have not. I’m so sorry you are struggling so much.

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  316. I feel I have ppd but I don’t know what to do. My baby is 17 months old and I try to put on a happy great mother mask on for everyone but it’s starting to wear me out…I can’t focus well and I don’t like the thoughts in having…I don’t know what to do…

    • Victoria, I’m sorry, I’m sure you are so worn out. Please call your doctor to talk about the symptoms you are having. Help is there, mama. And if you don’t get the answers you need, respond to me here. There is hope, mama.

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  321. This article doesn’t really say what to do if you feel you may have ppd. I’m reluctant to see a professional because I don’t just want to fix the problem (or rather symptoms) with drugs. I have a 4 year old son and a 15 month old daughter. I remember when my son was born I lived in constant fear. I was a lone pretty much all day with him and rarely went outside. I was plagued by fears of a neighbor trying to break through out door and kill us, falling down the stairs with my baby, him choking and many other irrational fears. I would be so caught up in these fantasies that nothing would take me out of them until I’d hit a wall with them unable to come up with an adequate “solution” to the many problems I created in my head. I would cry at the hopelessness I felt in not being able to protect my child and I had no idea that anything was really wrong with me. I look back on those times and feel sad that I felt so isolated and a lone.

    Fast forward, 15 months ago i had my daughter. I remembered what I had suffered with my son so I was more aware of the symptoms and when I noticed them creeping in (ie: when “what if” questions would start to pop up in my mind), I reminded myself that the thought was not a rational thought and to “let it go.” Realizing that I am not in full control of my life and that of my childrens and reminding myself of that has helped also. I pray to be present and focus on the moments I have with them instead of living in the future and the fears they hold. Making friends has also helped and being around others in general. My mind is in a healthier place when I am surrounded by other people (positive of course), and we are enjoying each others company. Doing simple things I like, for example, going to a nice and relaxing coffee shop with my daughter (while my son is at school) really helps me feel like I’m taking care of myself. Also having “Me” time. I am fortunate to have help from my husband when he gets home, and having the time to take a long shower and/or run out by myself to do something for me helps tremendously.

    This is my experience and although I still feel like I suffer from postpartum anxiety, I feel a bit better that I have some tools I can use to get though it. The main thing, in my opinion, is to not do it a lone. Wishing everyone a present and peaceful state of mind.

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  329. I started to cry when i came to the end off the page. I have been feeling like this for sometime and thought it was anxiety. now i have somewhat of an idea as to what is happening to me thank you.

    • I’m so glad you know, it’s so freeing to know. You aren’t alone. You do have something happening to you, it’s not just you. Hang in there, mama. I hope you have help for treatment so you can move forward. I’m sending you so much peace.

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  353. I love this site, it seems to be all there, except my symptoms. I read and read and i feel better but then i am like but my all my symptoms are not there, does this i am different and that i really could have something else wrong with me. doctors say its PPA PPD AND PP HARM OCD, but the way things are worded here are (NOT WHAT IF THOUGHTS I mean they used to be but now they are WHEN AND HOW THOUGHTS this scares the crap out of me. i have never hurt anything in my life. this is baby number 5 and i just never seen this coming, its been 23 months for me, it started when i was 6 months pregnant ( yes the baby was planed i knew id be a good mother i did 4 other times, but this baby i can’t be left alone with her because i am afraid i am going to hurt her. i don’t get angry with her she could cry all day and i don’t feel like shacking her or dropping her down the stairs.. its when i am in love with her that thoughts turn bad. I go to kiss her and hug her and wham my brain is like go ahead hurt her.
    can someone please help me sort this out. i need to know that what is going for me is common and that i do fit in the harm ocd profile and not something else… my doctor told me not to give the thoughts any air time. but when the thoughts flood the station i have no choice. please help… i know ill find the right help somewhere, if i keep yelling for it . PPPLLLEASE HELLLPPPPP MMMEEE.

    • Cindy, I was having trouble getting my reply to post, so I’m sorry it has been slow for you to get a response. One thing I want to say is that we do have a forum (it’s private) where you could work through some of this with other mamas in your same shoes. Your questions would be seen by many more mamas in that space. Here is the link for that –

      It is really hard to figure all of this out, I understand. It sounds like your intrusive thoughts are beating you up and I’m sorry. I believe there’s a good chance your doctors have diagnosed you correctly but that the wording you found here did not quite fit the way your thoughts are focused in on WHEN and now WHAT IF. But even if the language is different, it does not mean that you are worse or the only one. Other mamas experience what you are describing. It sounds like those thoughts have gotten extreme for you but they are not YOU, they are part of this awful illness. I’m glad you have providers in your life to help you through this. It does improve with time and help, it really does. Come join us in the forum if you’d like to talk more. Peace to you, mama.

  354. Pingback: What Happens at a Postpartum Depression Support Group - Postpartum Progress

    • Talk with your doctor, okay? Because the answer is yes, it’s possible. Your body is going through a lot and sometimes that messes with your body chemistry, hormones, etc.

      • Hi Sera,

        I had an abortion 4 years ago. I aborted because my husband didnt want that baby. His family totally ignore me. My family gave very limited support. I felt miserable after abortion. I used to cry suddenly, have terrible mood swings. I gave up my job. No one understood my situation. My caring husband was suddenly very unsupportive. We had some other complications too. His pregnant sister wanted to stay in my apartment. I could not put up with her. Things got ugly. That made my situation all the more miserable.

        After 2 years, I went to a psychiatrist and took medication for 6 months. Now I feel almost normal.I still get some mood swings during my period. I still feel bad about how my husband and family treated me. My relation with my husband has gone for a toss.

        Postpartum depression is result of giving a birth to a baby. What is my condition called? Is there any word for it? What should I do to make him understand and how to make a new start?

        • You can experience ppd after an abortion. The causes of PPD are hormonal and biochemical, emotional and situational. All of that applies to abortion, as well as having given birth. Your body goes through a lot. It actually doesn’t entirely matter what it’s called, what matters is that you get help, some counseling, and talk to your doctor about your symptoms. This can be treated and will get better with professional help and time. I’m sending you peace….

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  361. I have pnd and I can not bear any one holding my little girl (not even her dad)n when they do I’m so on edge and can’t sit still or feal so husband does not understand n think I just being silly as I don’t trust him with her but this is not the case.what can u do to try n get him to understand?

    • Hello mama,

      First of all, I’m sorry you are struggling like this. It’s hard to get breaks for yourself when you are so afraid of others taking care of your baby, and you need breaks. And it’s just plain hard to feel so distressed. I’m sorry. Your husband might understand better if you share some of the posts from this website with him. Or, it might be good to see a counselor together, because sometimes it helps having a person who is removed emotionally explain things in a way that leaves some of the tension out of the conversation. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for reaching out.

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  368. I had post partum D while pregnant .. A week after I had the baby I got taken to the psych ward, I felt like I was losing it detached, overwhelmed,afraid, regretful etc .. I was so scared to tell professionals that I felt disconnected from my baby that I didn’t want her but I truly did.. Not a motherly thing.. I got diagnosed with bipolar 1 then 2 was on high dosage of lithium no anti depressants for about 14 months but I felt worse still detached, overwhelmed etc.. I stopped meds got a 2nd opinion and was diagnosed with post partum and adhd .. Well uhmm was it my fault that I did t get the help or the lack of the nurse practitioner to see the timeline of events? Idk? .. But I finally feel like myself again 😃.. My boring story lol

    • It’s not your fault, Brooke. And your story is not boring 🙂 You’ve been through so much, and I’m so glad you are feeling like yourself again! Maybe the nurse practitioner should have known, but it’s hard to say with the sequence of events. They do their best, most of them, and we do our best and sometimes it simply takes time to figure it out. Misdiagnosis is frustrating…but it happens a lot! You are not alone, and the important thing is that you found your way and you are doing better. Hang in there, mama!

  369. I’m suffering from postpartum anxiety and I can’t stop thinking about what if this…what if that….type stuff and I keep thinking about how it’s going to be when I die and it’s eating me up and driving me crazy.. it’s literally making me sick!

    • Hello Jessica,

      I’m so sorry you are going through this. Have you gotten the help you need? Are you being treated for the anxiety? I know it’s so hard to figure out what to do and to wait for it to get better. But it really does get better with time and help. I’m sending you peace.

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  373. Wow! Reading this made me feel so much better. I was sure I was going insane. Glad to know I’m not alone and not the only one with these feelings/symptoms.

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    • Hi Aubrey,

      Have you had any kind of help for this? With therapy or have you talked with your doctor? If PPD/PPA go untreated, they can last, for even two years, yes. If you haven’t reached out for help, that’s the first step in overcoming this. I’m sorry you have been suffering for so long!

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  379. I love my baby. His smile, the little noises he makes. It feel very attached to my son. At night is when I get depressed. I have depression to begin with, but I don’t want to believe I have PPD. I feel like I can never spend time with my fiancé, he works so much. I sometimes feels like I can’t do enough for my son. Nights I can’t get him to sleep, I ask my parents for help and I don’t like doing that. It makes me feel horrible. I’m not sure if I actually have PPD, but I’m so tired of taking medication that I don’t want to call me doctor. What else can I do?

    • Shari,

      You can join us in our private Smart Patients forum to talk more about this, mama. There are so many other moms there who are going through the same thing. There are a lot of conversations there about treatment without meds. Sometimes it turns out that meds are the temporary way to get you back on track and then you can taper off and rely on nutrients, exercise, counseling, etc. Here is the link for the forum if you’d like to join. –

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  383. I have a 3 month old and a FTM. I’ve been feeling depressed lately and was worried it was postpartum. Reading this has made me feel a little better because i only have 2 or 3 symptoms. Irritability, sleeping troubles, and feeling down. I know this could just be from all the changes and takinc it day by day and enjoying my little one. Luckily i feel so blessed he is in my life and just want to say thank you for writing this in mommy language!

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  388. I’m having this feeling that someones gonna get us, me and my baby. Someone’s gonna hurt us. Most of the time I can feel like someone’s watching over us, like the devil. I’m being paranoid after I heard this voice record in Facebook a conversation with a 911 operator and a young girl describing the man outside their house with a long arms, wearing a tie, bald with no face and its going to get her and her brother. The window was crashed and I heard the girl screamed and the girl talk so weird and that creepy voice of the man. I just can’t stop thinking about it. Then I’m scared of the knife, falling from the stairs. Dreaming about weird things. I’m trying to control myself, thinking positively.but still I get the feeling of being so creepy, weird, empty, tired, floating. My baby is running 4 months this March.

    • Karen, I’m so so very sorry you are experiencing this. Are you getting help of any kind? Are you able to do that? How can we help you? You can email me at if you would like to do that. I’m sending you peace…

  389. Pingback: Why I Decided to Go Public with PPD, a News Anchor's Story - Postpartum Progress

  390. Thank you, I wish I had read something like this 6 years ago. I’m pretty sure I had postpartum anxiety & OCD after my first child was born. I constantly had panic attacks and couldn’t sleep. I would regularly picture (very vividly) terrible things happening, and it was all I could do to not scream out loud. I didn’t want to put her in the car. I was always ready for anything, not sleeping and watching her closely. I brushed it off as being a worried new mom. My husband made me talk to the doctor, and they gave me meds for anxiety. I wouldn’t take them, I felt that if I was calmer I wouldn’t be able to protect my child. It gradually got better on it’s own, but I wish I had realized it was a problem I may have been able to get the help I needed to relax and enjoy my little one. I hope this article helps people.

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  392. It’s very hard people around me even my own family don’t understand me dont even care about my feelings . I’m always worried about my symptoms i feel head ache chest pain , nausea fatigue, light headed tingling numb and back pain irritated sometimes. I always think I have cancer, liver cancer,and hard to breath,

    kidney disease, lung cancer, highblood, blood clot, leukemia, thyroid problem, Ms, brain cancer, stroke, heart attack and heart failure and some sensation . I’m only 19 years old I have a daughter and its very hard for me to take care of her because I’m always thinking that I’m dying and I’m so worried and scared of death. I feel like nobody care about me.

    • Lyn, I’m so sorry you are going through this. You are describing Postpartum anxiety and OCD symptoms. I hope you have been able to get help from a doctor. That’s the first step in getting better. I’m sending you peace, and please ask questions if you have any. We would be happy to help you.

  393. I have been feeling a few of these symptoms ever since I got pregnant. I don’t feel “connected” to my baby (almost 9 months old). I never experienced that “mommy bliss” I feel like I have been pretending since she was born. I’m just going through the motions. She annoys me more than makes me happy and some days I wonder if I even love her. In fact, as I wrote that last sentence I automatically went into defense mode “of course you love her thays your child!”….but then I think…”do I though?”. I hate the crying, I hate giving so much of myself to cater to her needs, I hate having to worry about her ALL the time. Did she eat? Does she need to be changed? Wake up. Get her dressed feed her and so on and so on. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this. I can’t talk to my boyfriend about it because he will just think I’m being dramatic and I don’t want him to think less of me. I hate being a mother. I’m tired of parenting. Anyone have any advice? I can’t afford to go out and talk to someone. Help please….I want to live my baby better. She doesn’t deserve this.

    • Devvon, you are not alone in feeling this way. Not at all. You are not a horrible person or a terrible mother. It sounds like you are dealing with some PPD/PPA symptoms. When you say you can’t go out to talk to someone, do you mean therapy? Do you have insurance for a medical doctor?

      You may find it helpful to join our private forum and talk with other mothers who feel exactly as you do. Here is that link –

      I’m sending you peace.

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  400. My daughter is 3 already and I still havent told anyone the way I feel. I feel insucure that people would judge me to think is just all in my head, or that they wont believe me.
    I try to be strong but its really difficult!!

    • Oh Marie, that is so long to suffer in silence. I’m so sorry. This is a common thing, and clinicians know that. You don’t have to talk about it to family and friends, but talking with a trusted doctor and/or therapist would be so freeing for you. To continue as you are is stealing your joy, mama. And you are worthy of having a better experience than this in all things. We are just not meant to suffer in silence, and often people are far more understanding than we can imagine. Please let me know if there is any further ways that Postpartum Progress can help. I’m going to leave you a link to providers that specialize in perinatal mood disorders divided by state.

      This illness can get worse and worse, and there is no shame in needing help for it, mama. If you would like to talk with other moms that are going through it, or have gone through it and gotten better, in our private forum, here is the link for that –

      Peace to you…

  401. Excellent article. I thought you were talking about me. When my son turned 1 I decided to seek help. Best decision I ever made, just wish I had done it a lot sooner. But I was so afraid my husband would take my baby and leave. When I finally told him, he embraced and apologized because I went through that alone. My son is now 3.

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  406. What can I do to help my wife through this problem? I want to make things better, but I don’t exactly understand this post partum. If anyone who has had and overcome this or is in the process of overcoming it can give me a few pointers it would be much appreciated. Thank you

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  410. My wife has literally everything on this list, minus a few of the first ones with the actual baby herself, I have softly brought this up to her and she completly is in denial and wont admit to any of these things. She has changed in so many ways since our daughter and is nearly a different person, I am a nurse so it is in my nature to start diagnosing upon symptoms unvieling. How do I get her to take this as an option seriously and get checked or help if it is needed.

    • I’m sorry you’re going through this, all of you. Unfortunately, as you know as a nurse, you can’t force treatment on someone who is not a danger to themselves or others. It’s so good that you gently brought it up…and I’m sorry it did not go well. She knows how you feel about it now, and what you have noticed. Is there anyone in your lives that she respects and feels safe with that she may be more open to listening to? Sometimes mamas can’t stand to hear the concern from those the very closest to them, like husbands. Mamas who are struggling like this sometimes are in denial because it is just too much, and someone who lives with them bringing it up feels like an attack no matter how it is stated. If this is effecting your relationship, you may make the suggestion that you should maintain your relationship through counseling, since having a baby causes a huge shift in marriages. If you focus on that, she may be willing to go and then hopefully what you are seeing in her would become something the therapist would be able to put to her in a way that she is open to hearing. Just some thoughts. Peace to you and yours….

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  418. I have ppd i’ll be crying feeling sad , i feel like everything happened so fast. I miss being pregnant, i feel like things are so different and new, i eat every other day . I have sleepness nights and be awake thinking and crying. Not to mention i had my baby on thursday april 28 2016

    • Hi Kayla,

      Are you getting any kind of professional help? I’m sorry you are struggling so much. I’m sending you peace….

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  431. Has anyone ever struggled with PPD for years? As I read the symptom list I started crying because most of it is me.

    • Renee, sometimes it can last for years, yes. Especially if untreated, it can turn into more chronic depression. But there’s always hope. Help is out there, and depression of all kinds is treatable. I hope you can reach out for help if you have not.

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  438. I don’t know if this is me or if I’m in a different category because my son was born over a year ago. But most of the these I have and it bothers me on a deep level because I know something is wrong. I’m scared that I’m a bad mom or a bad wife and it upsets me that I let myself get this way. To think this way. And for the most part I can ignore it and shove it into the back of my mind but on days like today it’s so prevalent it’s driving me to tears and I don’t know what to do. Or where to go.

    • Cheyenne, you are not alone in experiencing this for so long. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting. When PPD or PPA, etc go untreated, they last. If you get help, there is recovery. Please call your doctor if that’s an option for you. You can start with who you saw while pregnant, or a regular doctor. If you have insurance, you can look for specialists as well. Please email me at if you have questions. Peace to you…

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  444. I had my baby 1 and 1/2 years ago but am now just feeling both of these and it came on suddenly and really hard yet they say it’s if u had ur child within a year – so is this something else??

    • Hi Christie,

      I’m not a medical professional, and can’t say what it is, but you might want to think through what other changes you have gone through. Like weaning or extra life stress, or anything different that triggered it. Then talk with a therapist to try to get to the root, and start recovering. Peace to you.

  445. Can a person prone to postpartum depression have the same symptoms following a miscarriage in her second trimester?

    • Yes, Diane. Your body goes through so much with a miscarriage, and that can certainly trigger PPD. I hope you’re okay, and that you are getting the help you need.

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    • Katlin, you can go to the doc you feel the most comfortable with, either one is fine. Peace to you.

  450. I belive i have postpartum anxiety… Im always thinking im not safe by my self… I have a 2 yr old and a 4 month old… And i leave the door open and the phone close to me.. I always think something bad is gonna happen to me.. I cant consetrate sometimes.. Even when im driving im thi king of other things… Sometimes i feel like i cant breath right my hands and feeet feel tongleing.. Its just something very very annoying..

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  461. is there anyone out there I can talk to??? 8 months post Partom here and really need someone to talk to with my anxiety and everything going wrong in my life.

    • Hi there, mama. Please feel free to join us in our private forum to talk to many many mamas who totally understand, are going through it, or have been through it. Here is that link –

      We don’t have phone support, but there is so much support in the forum. We can also help you there, with finding professional help that works for you. I’m sending you peace.

      • Thank you for taking your time to provide me the link. I just submitted my email address and now I am waiting approval. So excited to find a private place to talk to people going through similar experiences as mine. It’s difficult to talk to family because they don’t understand what I’m really going through.

  462. Pingback: Postpartum depression – A New Day

    • It could be, Sunni. If you did not get the right treatment for you to recover, this lingers and can get worse. If you recognize yourself in the symptoms, it’s time to talk to a doctor. I’m sending you peace, mama.

  463. Pingback: Breath of Life | Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression - Breath of Life

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  465. My baby is 16 months and i still have postpartum the doctor gave me 2 antidepressants and thought it would help me by now but it hasnt. Im at a loss and dont know what else to do. I have no support where i live. I dont want to live like this forever.

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  468. I’am so glad I read this!!!!….I can relate to half the systems…embarrassed that it has overcome me…but glad to know I can over come it…sucks that it comes in time???…my second child, who is now yes under 12months..who knew…..#focus

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  471. Can a Mommy have postpartum depression even 2 and a half years after the kid was born?
    Even though you might of gone through it with the same kid before can it still come back?
    Is it possible that it just never truly goes away?

    • Rose, it’s possible that this can last if it is not treated. Or if it is treated by a professional, or professionals, and it isn’t the “right” treatment. Many mamas experience long-term depression because they didn’t realize that’s what it was and did not ask for help. Then it can take longer. If you find the right treatment, you can certainly get better. If you haven’t found the right help, you may consider finding a specialist, one who fully understands on-going postpartum mental health.

  472. Pingback: A Long Journey with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety - Postpartum Progress

  473. Thank u so much fr this article…it z really helpfully to me…m going through almst all d symptoms…just hoping to gt btr…once again thanks a lot…

  474. Pingback: Parenting Milestones After Postpartum Depression - Postpartum Progress

  475. Who does one reach out to? I tried my Obgyn who prescribed me anti depressants which did nothing but make me gain weight, I called a psychiatrist that said I was basically a drug seeker and offered me NO assistance (and the copay was double that for me pcp), I tried my pcp which gave me some help but said I needed to see a psychiatrist for more help ( but my husband refuses because the last one did nothing but steal my money and not help At all)

  476. Pingback: Postpartum Anxiety Might Be Even More Common Than PPD | Breaking US news

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  478. Pingback: The Racial & Ethnic Disparities of Postpartum Depression

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  480. Pingback: Mommy Shoes: Parenting While Recovering From PPD - Postpartum Progress

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  483. My wife has recently been hospitalized for PPD all the signs were there but we had no knowledge of the symptoms it got so bad that she had fallen into psychosis and that is a very scary thing to the point she was threatening to harm our children she never suffered from PPD with our first two boys we waited 5 years and decided we wanted to try for a girl and out came our third son but we were very happy but as the weeks went by depression started to set in I suggested to see a doctor about the possibility of PPD but she said it was stress and lack of a good night’s sleep the symptoms would come and go but over a course of a year it manifested into a big problem that she couldn’t hide anymore and I had to have her committed she was out of her mind shes going on her 3rd week of inpatient treatment and she is much better but still has suicidal thoughts gets aggravated easily and has anxiety attacks but all in all she is improving I’m not sure of the success rate of a patient with full psychosis but I’ll be with her to find out KNOWLEDGE IS THE KEY LADIES IF YOU SEE THE SIGNS GET HELP NO ONE IS PERFECT SO DON’T BE ASHAMED OR SCARED LIKE MY WIFE WAS

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  497. I feel really bad for my three year old I get so angry at her at times I just despise her and I can’t stand my self for how I feel. She sees me with her baby sister and wants my attention and all I can think is that she is not letting me enjoy her. Totally not me I hate my thoughts and feelings😞

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  503. I went to my doctor after giving birth and all she could tell me is take pills, she say in Canada that are no free programs. No therapists or psychologists that are covered by Ohio or insurance. I feel like I am running our of options. I have tried very hard to self control look on the brighter side of life. But I can’t to cry evey other night, feel guilty and self blame. I know and havefinally acacknowledged that I have post partum depression and anxiety. But I really wanted medication to be last resort. If anyone knows of any other options other than medication please help me. Feeling almost at the end of the rope. Trying really hard to be patient and trying to stay sane.

  504. My guys 4 weeks today. Second son. He has reflux and a protein and lactose allergy. We’re trying medicines and now on prescription formula. I’m praying this all helps. I have the anxiety part, even before kids. It just got worse. Again. Husband said to me the other day “I really thought you’d be better/more relaxed with the second and you’re worse”. So apparently it’s noticeable. Just hoping all these changes help his little belly before the depression part hits too. I think I’m gonna call the doctor Monday if I still feel this way.

  505. Pingback: I'm Not Fine: On Being Honest with Doctors About PPD Symptoms - Postpartum Progress

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  509. Pingback: PPD and Coping with a Premature Baby or One with Special Needs

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    • Hello pia,

      You could seek help from a therapist or counselor, or see if there is a postpartum support group in your area. It’s also important to make sure your physical health is good (vitamin D level, checking for anemia, thyroid check, blood sugar) because problems with those can contribute to depression/anxiety. Many mamas try natural remedies, like certain vitamins, hormone treatment, etc. Some say acupuncture helps. It’s different for everyone, but the majority of those who recover do so because they tried medication and therapy combined. I’m sending you peace, mama.

  514. If you feel this way. You need to talk to a doctor. Talk to your O. B. Or general practitioner. But don’t wait. It will be OK but you need some help.

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  517. Pingback: Hidden Darkness: My PPD Story – Site Title

  518. Hi. I have two kids but are all ready 5 & 3 years old. My hubby works very long hours and hardly gets off. I feel like I’m not coping and feel scared, mad, irritated, sad. Don’t know what to do! We have also moved away from all our family and friends.

    • This is so hard, mama. I understand. You may have been dealing with symptoms of PPD/PPA all this time. And stress really triggers it. I hope you can find some really good professional help where you are now. If you need help with that, please email me at

  519. Pingback: Are Anxiety Rates Higher In New Moms? Postpartum Anxiety Disorders Are Surprisingly Common | Obsessive Anxiety Disorder

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  521. I just had my third baby and it feels like my world is falling apart. I feel like the worst mom ever and I am so tuned out, to make things better me and my husband are on the verge of divorce. I feel like NO ONE understands me or what I am going through! things would be so much easier If I didnt have the marriage problems on top of the post partum.

  522. Pingback: 15% of women are affected by post partum depression. Are you one of them? Read on… – Pregnant & Pregnancy Tips for Women | Baby Care Advices | TheLittleshopper Magazine

  523. Pingback: She Took Her Own Life After Suffering From PPD In Silence, Now Her Family Is Sharing Her Story – Babble (blog) | | All Breaking News

  524. My daughter has been diagnosed with this. To make matters worse, her baby died of SIDS at 2 months. how can I help her? She has 3 other children ages 5, 4 and 3.

    • Oh Darcy, I’m so sorry to hear this. You can help by being a hands-on caregiver as much as possible. You can help by making sure she is getting effective specialized help. If you want to email me for specific information/resources for her area, please do. I’m more than happy to help:

      I’m sending you all peace. – Heather

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  529. I remember having horrible anxiety at the beginning of my pregnancy and I couldn’t sleep and the OB on call (mine was away for a few days) was horrible and made me feel like I was an idiot. It was awful.

    • Shawn,
      You might want to consider going with her to her doctor, to report what you are seeing. The doctor will ask her questions about how she’s feeling. They can help her. She needs professional help to get better. Help and time are what she needs. Peace to you both…

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  532. Going through postpartum depression and having nobody to talk to, vent to, or simply cry to is just making it so much worse😔 The only thing that keeps me going is my son.

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  535. Hi guys,
    I desperately need help with my wife. I love her a lot and can’t bare to see her this way. I don’t know what to do. Being the only child due to the one child policy in China, my wife has no experience being around kids. So when were were expecting she was very scared. But I calmed her fears talking about how I had experience raising my younger sister. I advised her that maybe its a good idea if her mother came to spend sometime during the delivery. So her mother started to live with us. Everything was fine and dandy, but little did I know that her mum was constantly complaining about me behind my back. Our baby girl is a high needs baby and needs love and attention all the time. She just turned 2 months old. I kinda lost/quit my job and I stay at home and take care of the baby 27/7. The baby only calms down with me. My wife is constantly yelling at me and crying saying she is very unhappy. She says I argue with her. By that she means I am not allowed to say anything. Her mother is constantly lying to her and berating me behind my back. Once I came to know about this I became more guarded towards her. They do not know how to calm the baby down and her mother is constantly trying to do some traditional Chinese stuff. My wife says I should not complain about her mother. But her mother is constantly interfering in whatever I do. She doesn’t speak any English and for the 4 months that she has been here, she doesn’t want to learn any English keywords either.
    She says I give her a black face. I have told them I do not need her mother’s help. But her mother follows me everywhere to keep an eye on me and complain to my wife. My wife is in a bad mood all the time and I cannot say anything to her without her getting angry. If I don’t say anything she says my face looks bad and that I am not smiling. My parents were here for 6 days to spend time with the baby. Within those days my wife was extra agitated and her mother seemed very upset as well. Her mother started complaining about my parents having a black face too. One night her mother burst out and started yelling saying we all ignoring her and giving her a black face. We don’t know what she’s talking about. That night my wife yanked our baby from her bed in her sleep and threatened to leave the house and as usual started saying I will never see my baby again and she will make things very complicated for me and spoke about divorcing me. I just spoke very softly and calmed her down. She didn’t let my parents hold or touch the baby after that. And said from now on no grandparents can touch the baby. However when I went out of the house for 10 minutes and go back her mother was holding the child. She broke her own rule and started yelling at me saying I walked upstairs too stealthily. I am at the end of my wits …today I asked her to tell her mum to not sit in the baby’s room while the baby is sleeping to sit in the adjacent room so that she doesn’t make any noise and wake the baby up. She got furious for that and started yelling again.

    She is a US citizen and has filled for my green card which I din’t need her to do since my employer was sponsoring my green card. However it is quicker this way. She was very insistent that we do the marriage based green card. Ever since we started with the process she threatens me on a regular basis that she will cancel my green card application and not show up for the interview. I am at the end of my wits and am afraid about how our baby will suffer. I am catholic and strongly am against divorce and she knows that. I do love her but our baby is gonna suffer with her mood swings. Two days back she said she is the most unhappy she has been and that she is going through depression. However she has had these mood swings before the baby was born. On a cold night last year when I arrived at her place 5 mins late she threw me out of the house and made me sleep in the car in freezing temps. I have asked her to see a doctor if that will help her but she keeps putting it off. She had done many crazy things…our baby sometimes cries a night she was cranky for 4 hours and wouldn’t sleep or drink any milk. my right arm was dead from holding the baby for so long. So I put the baby down for 10 seconds maybe less. She saw me do that and said “if you don’t want the baby, you should kill the baby and make it act like an accident. I feel like killing myself too”. That just broke my heart. How can a mother say such a thing. Is the depression to blame for this? Then on the night usain bolt was to run the 100 m finals I turned on the tv just in time. I was feeding the baby as well at the same time. She walked into the room yanked the tv remote out of my hand and threw it. Then threatened to break the TV …then yanked the baby’s milk bottle out of my hand and threw that on the ground as well. I need help to make my wife better. But I don’t know what that help is. I am starting to believe that she doesn’t have any depression and is just a bad person. But I still love her and I do everything in my power to make her happy. I don’t even complain anymore to anyone let alone my wife. I am experiencing chest pains lately and heavy breathing.

    I need some advice… any constructive advice will do.

    • Hello Karl,

      I’m so sorry you are going through this. Thank you for reaching out. If these changes in your wife came along after the baby, most likely they are Postpartum Depression and/or Anxiety related. There are other postpartum mood disorders as well. It’s important for her to get professional help if she’s willing. A person cannot be forced to get help unless they are a danger to themselves or others. You should know that this anger is also a symptom of PPD/PPA. It’s very difficult to understand why that would be, but it’s common. You are not at all alone in going through this. The affects on marriage are heavy and hard. You guys can get through this. It sounds like it would be best if your mother-in-law were not so involved. Her negativity is not helping, I’m sorry. Being gently honest with your wife that you would like to talk to a professional with her, to help your marriage and new family. Talk with empathy about the change in your relationship and that you would like for you both to be happy, and sometimes that take professional help.

      You may want to show her some posts from this site about postpartum mental health. Maybe she will recognize some of her symptoms in the lists of symptoms for PPD, PPA, etc.

      I wish you all the best and I’m sending peace to you and yours…

  536. Pingback: Hey, where did you go? What happened to Christina? My story and Postpartum Depression. – CJ & AG Day by Day

  537. as i was reading this, I’m crying because almost all of the symptoms are the exact feeling that I have. 🙁 There are times that I just want to die.

    • Hi mama, I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. I know how hard it is. It’s especially hard when your partner doesn’t understand, it’s so painful. He may come to a place of understanding. For now, what’s most important is that you get some professional help so you don’t have to feel like this. I’m sending you peace.

  538. thank you for developing this insightful and sympathetic resource. everyone in my life normalized my deep depressive feelings, even though i said i was feeling “like an alien” and so so fearful of dropping my son – because he wanted to nurse 24/7 – So, my exhaustion quickly deteriorated into ppd and anxiety… it was the shits, absolutely terrifying and i legitimately believed i would never be me again. but, when you are so fragile, even though it is terrifying, some help is instrumental. you will function again as you did before your baby arrived, you will be able to enjoy them and not be preoccupied with horrendous fears. you will get through this! and reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness! and if no one believes you, because superficially you appear “just like you” and seem to be “doing great”, with a happy thriving baby – know that you are not alone and get in contact with a professional who will not dismiss your concerns 🙂
    best best and thanks again – only wish i had seen this when i got sick

  539. I’ve been having this feeling for a while but i am berly accepting the fact that I have both PPD & PP ANXIETY. I feel like if i tell others they would see me as weak an a incompetent mother . My son is 2 months I know I’m doing a great job being his mother but i just feel that the whole world is falling all around me an it doesn’t help when people are rude

    • Stephanie, you are NOT weak, and if anyone ever says anything like that, they are wrong. You can talk with a professional who will understand you are not weak, and that this is a common illness, not your fault. I hope that’s an option for you. I’m sending you peace.

    • It may be that you are struggling with clinical depression and anxiety. Please reach out to your doctor or a therapist. This may have started after having kids, and if left untreated, it can stay, or get worse. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Talking a doctor is the first step.

  540. I think there is no cure for me. I feel only way out is if I leave and disappear, both my dh and ds will be better off. This is worse then psychosis, worse than anything I have ever experienced. People lie when they say they get out of it. There is no way out of this hell.

    • Anavi, People do get out of this hell. I would not be here as proof of that if it were not true. There was a time I believed it would never end. But I’m here, and I’m better. That is true of the entire team at Postpartum Progress. There is no one who is immune and no one who cannot get better. Yes, for some people recovery is so much harder and I’m so sorry that’s what is happening for you. But there is always hope. Things always change. I am leaving the number to call if you feel desperate for immediate help. Please be safe and reach out for help if you are thinking of acting on the belief that people will be better off. That is absolutely not true. The affect on family after suicide is so damaging and painful. Please call this number if you need to – 1 800 273 8255

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  544. i worry so much for my baby. I can’t stay away from him and when im away i feel a knot in my stomach i also feel very tired sometimes even sad ive also
    lost weight.

  545. I have wanted my son for a very long time. I am so depressed. I don’t understand why. the only time I smile is when my son laughs or smiles. I don’t clean the house. or clean myself up.. I’ve always been the type to put makeup on and dress up. I don’t even care if I bathe anymore. my hair stays a mess. I am afraid to tell anyone I am depressed because I don’t want anything to happen to get my son the reason I live to be taken away. I never think of hurting him. I do think he shold get a better version of me. I don’t want him out of my sight and he has to go to daycare and what if he likes it better there or loves me less. I don’t cook for me or my son’s dad even when I know he’s hungry. I have zero self esteem and don’t like doing anything or going anywhere. I try to talk to my son’s dad but we never have any conversation anymore so I only talk to my baby. I don’t know whyou I feel this way I have all I ever wanted.

    • Oh love, you feel this way because you are experiencing symptoms of PPD. You are not experiencing something that would cause your baby to be taken from you. Please talk to a doctor you trust about your symptoms. PPD is so common, and your doctor should understand that. If they don’t, there are many specialists out there. You can find a list on this website under “Find Help” — I hope there is someone near you. The list is organized by city and state.

      You are the mother your baby needs. You are going through something hard, but you can and will get better with help and time.

      PEACE to you….

  546. Pingback: Postpartum Depression - Greensboro Doula

  547. I didn’t know exactly what post postpartum depression was. I read about it while I was pregnant with my son. Never had any problems with the pregnancy or when I went into labor. He was born full term a healthy 6 lbs 8 oz baby boy. Brought him home, with me being a single first time mom, I never felt so alone. I was deprived from sleep, I felt like I was at the lowest point of my life. Tried my best to take cat naps when he slept but I couldn’t do it which made me more stressed. Some nights he wouldn’t stop crying, and these crazy malicious thoughts came to my mind, something I’d never thought or even considered doing. The thought that came across my mind was “What if I picked up this baby and threw him at the wall, it’ll make him stop crying.” It honestly makes me tear up now thinking back to it. I never in my life would do that to my baby. So even the thought scared me to death. Almost every forum I read said it was just a temporary thing that most newborn Moms go through this but mine lasted almost a year. Thankfully I snapped out of it on my own and I focused all my energy on being the best mom I could be. Today he’s a happy 10 year old boy and I don’t regret anything!

  548. Can you have depression if you still feel attachment to your baby, but most of the other symptoms? I myself have 12 week old. I have been beyond tired (more than I was with my other two children) I start yelling for the littlest things. I am not a yelling parent, but have been going from 0 to 10 in a second with my kids and husband over small stuff like repeating myself. I can’t sleep at all. I want to get out of the House, and when I do I want to go home fast. I am forgetting everything. I need a break but don’t want to leave my kids. I cry a lot! This all started about 4 weeks after my babies birth, and for better around 8 weeks, but some days I loose it. I was super mom, and now I can’t be. I am heart broken I can’t spend time with my 7 and 3 year old like I use to. I stare at myself in the mirror and feel like dying. I hate the way I look and feel. The weight gain is horrible. I stay up and eat and that’s not like me. My husband changed job positions so he doesn’t have to work nights and be gone three days in a row to help me. I use to have anxiety about the house not being organized before I went to bed, and now I just can’t do it cause I am always holding our baby. It’s beyond normal busy mama things. I reached out to a friend, and now I wish I didn’t because I feel like I am judged. My oldest son wants his friend to stay the night, and the mom I reached out to has to ask me if I am ok. It’s heart breaking. I know the right things to say and to tell people to pretend I am ok and fine, but I know deep down I am not. I feel I would be weak to get on medication. Afraid to also because how do you get off them? Are they ok for nursing? I am lost. I don’t know who I am. I want to say I won’t hurt myself because I know I would never do that, but at the same time I can’t lie. There is a bridge or freeway overpass I go over after dropping my older kids off at school that drive over when I go home and think every time what if I just turn the wheel. I want to be normal again inside because pretending I am fine to everyone is so draining.

    • Yes, mama. You can still have PPD and feel attached to your baby. That’s a good question. It sounds like you are struggling with symptoms and it will be so good to reach out for some help. You can get better, with professional help and some time. I’m sending you peace!

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  550. I feel like my sister has some of these symptoms listed. She’s told me that she’s overwhelmed and I’ve also noticed how she doesn’t eat much. She also doesn’t like to carry her baby boy much. it’s hard on me seeing my sister like that since we’ve always had a really tight bond. How can I approach and talk to her about this. Or how can I make her feel better about being a new mom.

    • Ale, you could share this website with her, and let her know that you came across it and it reminded you of her talking about being overwhelmed. Let her know that you have learned how very common this is, and that it is not her fault, but she may be dealing with PPD or PPA. She may very quickly recognize herself in the list of symptoms. It’s so good of you to reach out and ask, and we wish you all the best, for you and your sister…

  551. i have a 3ry old a 1yr old and im also 7months pregnant not sure who to talk to about how to deal with now 3 babys and also all the Babbage my family sometimes puts on me about how im raising them or how i do even of what i dont do,, please help

    • Hello mama, I’m glad you’re here, asking for help. I hope you’ll reach out for professional help where you are. You can and will get better with time and with help like therapy and possibly medication. We also have a private forum where you can talk with other moms who feel like this, get support and advice and be inspired by those who are feeling better –

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    • Hello Ashley, I want to encourage you to not hold it in. We get sicker when we do that. You need to let it out, whether that’s talking to a loved one, a counselor, exercise, etc… We all need help sometimes and it is such a relief to get that help! I’m sending you peace…

  557. Pingback: My Struggle With “Postpartum Depression” – The Progressive Mom

  558. My daughter had her second child 8 months ago. She has a 3 year old as well. I was very much involved in my 3 year old’s life. We lived 7 minutes apart and I babysat and became very close with my granddaughter. After about a year and a half they ended up moving 3 hours away. I continued visiting about once a month. She became pregnant with her second child and even though she was a bit “weird” during pregnancy, I thought things were okay. I stayed with my granddaughter for 3 days while they had their new son. After a couple of months things started getting weird. We had a small (in my opinion) disagreement and I was told she needed space. It has now been 6 months! No actual physical contact or even talking on phone. She has blocked me, accused me of things that aren’t true ( from my perspective) and been pretty cruel. I have just kept perservering and not giving up. They moved but are in same area but I am not allowed to have address. The other grandparents have it. I finally went to find them as it had been 6 months and I am concerned and want to sit down and talk about things and they saw me in the park and she called the police and is threatening a restraining order? This behavior is so bizarre and not like her at all. I am in the state of shock and at a loss as to what I am suppose to do and have no help. The other grandparents won’t talk with me or get involved and let me know what is really going on with my daughter.

    • I am so sorry you’re going through this, it must be awful. I wish I could give you some kind of easy answer. It’s hard for you or anyone currently uninvolved to say what is happening with her and why. But yes, when someone is struggling with PPD/PPA, etc., they often become angry and sensitive, as a result of so much suffering. They often don’t realize this is what is happening. They are not “crazy” but they are ill, and do need help to recover. I don’t know if this is the case for your daughter. Of course you are shocked, hurt and confused, and my only suggestion is that you find some good therapy for YOU. Any mother would need help working through what to do/feel/think when going through this. I’m so sorry. Peace to you…

  559. I know I need help and I know something is wrong it’s not bad I’m just sad all the time cause I feel like I could do better or something I want thelp but I’m scared that they will take my baby away from me and I love him to death and I don’t want that I just want help or maybe someone to talk to

    • Hello Brianna,

      I understand your fears, but I want you to know that if you talk to your doctor and simply say that you know you have symptoms of PPD/PPA, that is NOT a reason to take your baby. The goal is to keep babies with healthy mamas. You can also find some extra support in our private forum:

      I’m sorry you’ve been feeling sad. You are clearly a good mama. I’m sending you peace!

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  562. I went through this condition for 6 years and they were the worst 6 years of my life. I even considered running away but when my husband finally got sick of my mood swings and left me and took my daughter with him. Only then did I start to see I needed help. Well my mom kinda forced me but the point is whenever I got help my husband came back and so did my daughter and I was never happier to see someone in my life. If you are suffering from this. GET HELP. you may not realise it but it is crucial to get the help you need. I wasted 6 years with my daughter I will never get back, I don’t want that to happen to anyone else

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  573. I think Ive come to the conclusion that I am suffering from postpartum anxiety. It is extremely hard to admit and I feel like a failure. I feel like im losing my relationship -the love of my life because of it. Im not being the best mom because im not myself. I constantly check to make sure she is breathing.

    • Hello Gwen,

      Please know that you are not alone, and this is NOT your fault. You are not doing something wrong. This is an illness and it requires professional help. You can reach out to a doctor, if you have one that you trust, and let them know that you are dealing with symptoms of PPA. If you don’t have a doctor, and you have insurance, you can look at our list of resources on this page, under Find Help. I’m sending you peace!

  574. What if the anxiety is not about the baby, but other relationships? 1 month postpartum and I suddenly an suspicious of everything my boyfriend does and I do not trust anything he says to me. There was no trigger to this I just keep looking for signs and lies and I even checked his phone once. I just went back to work and now it is worse I cannot quiet my mind. We have already had 3 fights about this. I cannot tell from the list above if this is postpartum anxiety – does anyone else feel like this?

    • This is very common, mama. You are not alone. Many times PPD and other postpartum health issues cause a focus on something like not trusting, getting irritated and frustrated, etc. It takes some good therapy and any professional help you have access to in order to get better. It sounds like it could be PPA, so if you have a doctor, you would tell them that you think you may be struggling with symptoms of PPA.

      Peace to you…

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  577. Pingback: My Struggle with PPD – Goodsell Gang

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    • Hello Josephine,

      You can help your daughter by gently talking with her about getting help. You can be a support by watching her baby when she goes to an appointment, and helping with daily tasks as much as possible. This is a real illness and takes treatment, recovery and time. If she hasn’t gotten professional help, you can suggest that she talk with her doctor and let them know her symptoms. I’m sorry she’s going through this, and I’m grateful that you are reaching out to help her.

  580. My daughter is terrified something will happen to her baby to the point she doesn’t feel safe letting him go anywhere without her I’m not sure how to ease her mind any suggestions

    • It sounds like she could really benefit from some therapy. It sounds like very intense anxiety, which is treatable. Encouraging her to get help is the best thing you can do for her.

  581. I don’t know if it’s just ppd or if it’s just my bipolar disorder but it’s getting really hard and I’m scared because I can’t think clearly

    • It’s time to reach out for help, Courtney. IF you are not able to think clearly, something is going on and there is help for you. I’m sending you peace.

  582. I do have a lot of stress on me it’s making it worse I just found out I have weakness in my heart muscles and high blood pressure it’s challenging trying to take care of an infant and your self to plus I have 2 older boys as well I’m just really stressed and tired of everything I don’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t want to be judged because I’m a really good mom and before I got pregnant no body supported me on wanting another one they said I don’t need anymore but I’m glad I have him he completes my family I’m just so stressed out and not to mention I have huge panic attacks when I go anywhere that cause my blood pressure to spike I have no one to talk to my husband works and I don’t want to bother him what should I do

    • Courtney, we have a list of postpartum specialists at the top of the page under “find help”. Maybe there is someone near you. They are divided by city and state. I hope you find someone there! We also have a private forum where you can connect with other moms for extra support online.

      You are a really good mom, and those that specialize in PPD and other mood disorders understand that this is an illness, and do not judge you! You are not alone. We’re here with you.

  583. I think im in the stage of post partum psychosis right one cares for me and the father of my baby left us because he thinks in crazy.

    • hazel, do you have access to healthcare or a therapist? Please reach out for professional help. You can get better, and be done suffering like this if you get some help. I’m sending you peace!

  584. I’ve been having these issues since my son was born I have a 2 year old as well but since my son was born I’ve been having the issue of me want feeling like I am a good mom and I want nothing to do with him I don’t know what to do I am lost and I haven’t fully been my self since he was born…does him being a premie have anything to do with how I am feeling…I feel like a horrible mother for feeling like I want nothing to do with him.

    • This is not your fault, mama. You’re going to get this figured out. It sounds like symptoms of PPD to me, and yes, having a preemie can play a part in that. It’s traumatic and scary and overwhelming to go through what you have. Please reach out for some help. Help is there, and you can find your way to a connection with your baby with help and time. Therapy is really important! Peace to you!

  585. Does always getting mad/irritated at a particular person means i have PPD too? There are moments I feel everythings fine. Then all of a sudden, one simple mistake from that particular person ruins my mood, that I tend to shout at him/her. 11months post partum and still feeling the same since.

    • Sometimes this can be a sign of PPD, yes. It’s best to talk over all your symptoms with your doctor, if that’s a possibility for you. It’s so hard to constantly feel this way about someone and not really be able to make sense of it. Therapy would be really helpful as well. Peace to you.

  586. Pingback: Postpartum Depression: You Are Not Alone |

  587. What about the husband /father how do I cope and keep my marriage and kids protected? This has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with !!!! I feel we need help and she says it will just go away

    • Eric, you’re right, you need help as well! This is SO hard, and so many of us can understand. You may want to search around on this site with the search box, putting in “marriage” and “partners” and so more reading.

      You’re right, your wife does need help. It’s hard when people are resistant, but you can have her do some reading here as well. She may see that her symptoms are matching up completely with the ones listed, which may help her see it is an illness. This illness is something that robs people of their happiness, of clear thinking and insight. It robs people of relationships and causes a great strain on everyday life. It does take help and time, but it is entirely possible for it to change! I’m sending you both peace!

  588. I feel like no matter what I do for her I’ll never be enough. It’s 7 months postpartum and I feel like I should be over it by now. I’ve filled out the doctors questionnaire but I’ve lied. It gives scores on the side.. who wants to admit this

    • Jess, it’s simply time to admit it. It isn’t your fault. It’s an illness. You did not choose it or do anything to make it happen. It’s okay to show up to the doctor and say, “I didn’t answer honestly because I was embarrassed, but I need help.”

      We ALL need help sometimes, even your doctor, in many of the same ways.

      I’m sending you peace.

    • You will get through this with time and help, Rachel. You can look for a postpartum specialist in your area, under Find Help at the top of the page, or google your area to see if anything comes up that isn’t on our list. If you don’t find someone who is listed as a specialist, that does not mean another therapist cannot help you. Simply finding someone near you that takes your insurance can be the first step. Talking with your doctor about what medications may help your specific symptoms is best. If you don’t have a doctor, or don’t have access financially or otherwise, please email me at

      Peace to you…

  589. I have three kids , I had my first at 20 and 16 years ago they really never talked to much about it or now they give you a questionnaire before you leave the hospital, well when my son was 3 months I felt depressed, which never had before crying all the time ,well I was very paranoid when you went to work like he was going to never come back, I took a lot of Motrin I guess thinking that would hurt me and he would come home , my mom came over and said what’s wrong if u go to the hospital they might take my child, well I didn’t do that again but I did weird behaviors throwing my new living room set off the balcony just crazy stuff that wasn’t me . I never got treatment for it BC it was never really talked about it and I was very jealous for no reason paranoid what he was doing make a long story short it passed moved on had a second child at 9:06 and I had some of the same symptoms I cried more often I was just very depressed nothing to do with the child at one point I even told myself husband that why did I have another child? So he makes appointment Swiss psychiatrist and I never seen ever in my life explain the situation and put me on anti-depressants sleeping pills diet meds never said I had a problem sleeping, only my life went down and things worse. The doctor never recommended any one-on-one counseling anything just push pills I had my third child a year-and-a-half ago I was pro active and went on antidepressant after 90 days and an anxiety Med it was better this time but I came to believe I don’t even think I needed them as ever and that I don’t suffer from depression and depression medication that they gave me was Zoloft never even helped so I don’t know if something in my past triggered this to come out and , depression anxiety, I think I had a mild case if it but pushing pills for everything is not the answer maybe a short term while being in counseling Ora group 4 postpartum but nobody told me anything about going to counseling that your support groups so I make sure I tell people if you feeling like that you know do counseling finest working because pushing them pills only made my life worse. Sorry for the long story but I had to get it out I wish everybody the best of luck but if you keep busy keep your mind off of things whether it’s worth going to the gym a hobby just don’t feel bad it happens just keep pushing yourself good luck everybody just try talking to a counselor though

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    • Hello mama, you’re right, you do need help. And getting help will be the best thing you can do to get relief. You can see a therapist as a start. You can get better, you really can and will with support from professionals.

  593. I’ve been suffering this for over a year, almost 14 months. It’s between depression and anxiety, I have depression and anxiety even without my son.

    I often have moments of uncontrollable rage towards a lot of little things involving my son. He should be asleep but won’t lay the F- down and go to sleep, wants to stand up and scream and yell, cry, whine, bang on his diaper changer and the wall. It’s like midnight or later, I’m tired suffering a severe migraine and it’s causing nausea- then suddenly “scary thoughts” like for instance: beating him to death; pops into my mind and won’t go away. So I ignore him and the thoughts.

    He sleeps in the same room as me and his father, and I feel overwhelmed because his father doesn’t help me at all really. I don’t cry at all really but then I have nightmares of killing myself and wake up in a pool of tears. I’ve been suicidal before having my son.

    I don’t really like talking to doctors because I’ve had terrible experiences with them before. I don’t really know what to do. I’m struggling with transitioning my son to eating like a normal person and not out of bottles. He has 3 teeth, which only popped up in the last two months (he’s almost 1 year 2 months old now..) I get frustrated and give up. He was a month premature but measured at a little over 2 months premature.

    I literally just shoved him down into a laying position in his crib because he’s now standing up and trying to break the siding off the crib (rocking all his weight front and back making one of the bolts make a clicking sound that tells me it’s loose and he’s making it worse. I just tightened it for the fourth time now.)

    I don’t know what to do.

    • I know it’s so hard to ask for help, but it’s time, mama. You don’t have to keep feeling like this. If you’ve had trouble with doctors in the past, maybe try making an appointment with a specialist, someone who understand postpartum mental health. We have a list under “find help” by state and city. I hope there is someone near you. A therapist is another option, a place to start to work through what you’re feeling and thinking. This is NOT your fault. It’s an illness that is entirely treatable. I’m sending you peace.

    • Kattalyne, I’m sending you love and hope, mama. I’ve also had bad experiences with doctors so I’m seeing a therapist instead. It’s been a long struggle to find one that I like and trust, but I’m so grateful I stuck with it. She’s helping me a ton. I also wanted to hurt my child and myself. Get help as soon as possible.

      You deserve to have support. Our culture has ingrained in us that we need to be independent and not “burden” our friends or family with our “problems”, but there are people who want to help if you let them know you’re struggling. We are not meant to do this alone. I’m sure you’ve heard, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Both moms and children benefit from a support village. I even think other people benefit from being more involved in raising children, but that’s another subject.

      You can get through this. You and your son deserve support and happiness in your lives. Sending love and hugs

      Just a note about therapy: I told a friend that I didn’t like going to my therapist and she pointed out that I probably didn’t like it because I felt vulnerable. She reminded me that feeling vulnerable is part of the point. Now I can recognize when I feel vulnerable and tell myself it’s ok. Before that I was always trying to protect myself and never really sharing the depths of my struggles. Therapy can be a safe space where it’s ok to be vulnerable, just don’t give up on finding a therapist you like.

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  596. Ladies,

    Breathe and deep breathe whenever you have time and whenever you feel overwhelming.

    Do it for 10, 5, or even 2 minutes and as often as possible and think of Nothing. Stay focus (by counting number) and keep your mind blank.

    I know it’s hard and my family fell apart because of this.

  597. Few tips that worked for me.Have a morning routine(a planner, some exercise)Try to eat healthy and most of all children are a great joy to our lives.

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  605. What would be the best way to approach someone who may have postpartum? I feel if I suggest that she might have postpartum it will just end up in an argument.

    • Art, I’m sorry you’re having to address something so hard. It’s difficult to say what the best way to approach it is, since everyone’s experience with it is different. Some people are willing to listen and desperate for someone to notice and say something, so they don’t have to, and others are easily defensive. It sounds like your hunch is that the latter would be true for you. That means bringing it up is extra hard, and I’m sorry. You can only muster up the courage and try. Being gentle and indirect is usually best. “Indirect” as in not saying anything about mental illness or using words that may trigger frustration. Sometimes it helps to say that you’ve noticed some changes and that you are coming from a place of love in bringing it up. You can ask questions to start, like, “Is there anything that you need? It seems like you might not be feeling totally like yourself and I want to help.”

      I hope things go more smoothly than you can imagine and I’m sending you both peace.

  606. I have a concern. Now let me say this, I love my baby with all my heart. I would never raise my hand to him or wish to harm him in any way. But it’s so odd–I get these disturbing thoughts or horrible things happening to him. Like I can look at an object and wonder how that could hurt him and what if it does. The thoughts scare me and I just go back to what I was doing before. There are times that I am scared of someone breaking in the house (his room is closest to the front door and my room is a little walk away). I want to cry just thinking about it. Even going to the store, I get scared of someone coming up to us and just doing anything they can to hurt him. And finally, I get scared that I’ll be sleep walking when he wakes up wanting to eat or something that I take out my rage on him.
    I would never do any of these things, but these thoughts really disturb me and I don’t understand why they come across my mind to begin with. I don’t have issues sleep walking, I don’t even have much of a history being violent (last time i was was when i got into a fight with a girl at school, and even then I didn’t do all that much cause I’m not a fighter), I lock the doors, keep him away from anything that could hurt him, I mean I don’t have a desire to do any of these things. When a thought like that occurs, I can shake it off easily, but I feel disturbed for just thinking of it. I don’t want to talk about it to my doctor because I don’t trust her in the slightest. I once told her a joke and even told her it was a joke my dad and I would say, but she sent in a social worker to talk to me two times, and then arranged counselors to come to my house without my consent. I asked friends and family if what I said was that extreme and they said no.
    Is this a sign of postpartum?

    • What you are describing sounds like PPOCD. What you are describing are Intrusive Thoughts. They are not desires, you are right. You don’t want any of these things, would never do them, but they assault your brain. This is a very common symptom of sometimes PPOCD and/or PPA. Talking to a professional for help with this is very important. Because who wants to live with this struggle and these thoughts and the thoughts are only a part of the overall illness. You don’t have to tell them specifically what all the thoughts are, but let them know that you are having thoughts you don’t want/desire, called Intrusive Thoughts, as a result of anxiety. Not your current doc who doesn’t get it and can’t be trusted. You could look to find a postpartum specialist near you, because they see it all the time. Like I said, so common.

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    • Medication can correct brain chemistry. If working closely with a doctor, you will be prescribed something that isn’t addictive. Then, if you do choose medication, in a way, yes…our brains get “dependent” in the sense that they need the medication for what they lack. SO treating a brain disorder with a medication that it needs is another way to look at it. I hope this helps!

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  613. Am freaking out, stressed. i have a 10 months old child and am a month pregnant..God.! i just dont know what to do. both me and my husband are not on good pay jobs and our life is that full of struggles financially that we will not afford two kids as its already hard on this one..i honestly believe in God and am rejecting aborting option what do i do am really worried

  614. My child is already 2 years and 4 months .. But I felt the same way as estated above. I don’t know what to do.. I went to doctors internal med . ang family med. They just gve me a medecines for my gastric ffelings.. Like you’re vomitting. And I felt bad .. I check my platelets its so high. I felt dizziness . negative thoughts in my mind came. Where I should ask help? What kind of professional should I go?

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  618. im a husband and i feel like ive experienced a lot of this stuff too. slightly different, but a lot very similar. It messes with compassionate men too. I quit my job after 3 or 4 weeks in postpartum of literally doing all the house work and a lot of the parenting of our older kid and pampering the crap out of my wife to try to keep her calm and happy. Especially when the wife says the 4 month baby boy crying intensely ie when cries turn to screams and everything is covered ie diaper, no rashes, both fed(mommy with a nutritionist prepared meals , calm setting, naps, clean everything-like eat off the floor clean, not sick ect but hes just screaming because he wants to be held and she wont let me hold him or put him down and swears it doesn’t bother her but shes almost vibrating with anxiety and oh no the 3 year old does no wrong if mommy doesnt see it and we’ve only been together 8 years, and ive only been right and gently right about most things because ive put in unreserved research, training, field experience, practice, review and so forth as a EMT BHT FF w more than a Bach in College Credits in behavioral health and 1000 plus hours of CE’s… Anyways just saying all this so no one reading this (guy or gal) thinks i’m just going off a whim, and so they dont feel bad if they struggling too, and they find themselves overwhelmed to the point of hopelessness. Not that long ago I re-awoke to my wife screaming at me at the top of her lungs, across the kitchen, and across the house and across the yard that I was hitting her ect and that was going on for about 15 minutes until the cops showed up about 20 minutes later barking orders and pointing a tazer at my junk and took me to jail for DV DD(year in jail potentially) because i wouldnt say anything about what happened. I tried leaving, i loaded up all the guns, some cash and my clothes, because there was no reasoning with her, but I couldn’t leave her with the kids in good faith, in that state of mind. I knew the cops must be coming, i;m surprised none of the nieghbors ran in with guns pointed at me- by the way she was screaming- because i know I would of been running in anyones house if I heard from the outside what I was hearing… I’ve dealt with a lot of disturbed people, but a mommy with a torn vulva,perinium tear to rectum 2x times now and stubborness like a geriatric as her normal augmentation… OMG..! Just saying, I cry every day a little bit about how much of a failure i feel. i had to let go of my career, most friends, most people think im on drugs and am a abusive husband and suicidal. So ya don’t wait to get help, MEN it doesn’t matter what you know or what you do or say, SHE needs to hear it from STRANGERS,swallow your pride, you love her, you know whats right, she does too, but sometimes she needs to hear it from other professionals, and NO, she wont remember you said it first, but it will help it sink in for her, when she hears it again from someone else that she will praise as her hero. It sucks, but if you really love her, then what matters most is she gets the help she needs. I’ve been trying to get her to go to counseling, therapy, see a psychologist and doctor with me since the first time she started screaming at me at the top of her lungs when i asked her to help me take part in the basics like turn off lights, tvs, put the dinner away, ect so i can go to bed with her because once her and the two kids fall asleep in OUR BED they spread out and there no room for me and it hurts my feelings (60 plus days of me being the husband, dad, wife and mom, well she was just mommy to our new born. I litterally did all the cooking cleaning working taking daughter to preschool and back and parenting her and changing a ton of the diapers ect of him, IDK what she did and Im trusting enough to just believe she must be doing something good so I don’t feel negatively towards her. Anyway thats more than enough of a comment for me. I haven’t talked to anyone about any of this yet but do finally have a appointment this week with her about this PPD PPA ect.

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    • Hello Kim,

      It’s important that you see a professional about what you are experiencing. I hope that’s an option for you. We have a list of providers (specialists) by area under “Find Help” on the top of the page. I hope there is someone near you. This isn’t your fault and it’s too much to handle alone. Getting help is the first step to recovery. Peace to you…

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  624. it took wrecking my car and getting a dui to realize even though everyone told me i needed help. i should have died but i walked away. i love my son. i get the opportunity to. watch him grow so im getting help

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  628. It’s been a little over a year since my wife gave birth to our second son, last January. In April she began lashing out almost every month, placing blame on me, and escalating fights, ignoring the needs of the kids while fighting. In July, she stood over the baby’s crib yelling at him to shut up as he was crying. I got up and took care of him. She claimed she did it for my benefit to wake up.
    Since then, constant fighting, escalating. I suggested she speak with her doctor, yet denies it and claims it’s me again, blamed for everything. There have been other major things in her life, yet I feel that her anger and rage may stem from post pardum, maybe PMDD. But she refutes all of it.
    I don’t know what else to do. Contact her doctor anonymously? How will that play out?

    • Hello there, I’m so sorry you are both struggling like this.
      Yes, you can fill in the doctor, but that doesn’t mean that they can do anything unless she wants help. They can make their recommendations to her when she is there, and it is still ultimately up to her unless she is a danger to herself or someone else.
      Her behavior sounds quite typical of PPD/PPA, etc. It’s a hard spot you are in and I’m sorry. You can’t force someone to see, and you can’t force them to get help unless they are suicidal or a danger to others. It’s a rock and hard place. Sometimes mamas soften and become willing to take a look at their part in things. Many mamas who have PPD don’t respond this way, they know they need help. But unfortunately, this denial and anger is often part of the illness. I’m so sorry you’re in this place. There is always, always hope of change. Change is always possible. I hope it comes soon for you and yours.

  629. If it’s been more than a year since your baby was born, and you’ve had symptoms since she was born, could it still be postpartum? (Does it matter if it’s postpartum?)

    • It’s hard to say, Kady, without knowing the ins and outs of your situation/symptoms, etc. And of course, I’m not a medical professional who can diagnose, but I’ll do my best to answer:
      It can be PPD a year later, yes. Sometimes it has been there all along, untreated and passed off as exhaustion or something you just got used to…and then it sticks around. But it doesn’t really matter what you call it, we just add “postpartum” if the onset is in the postpartum period. What matters is if you see a lot of the symptoms in yourself, you get help. What matters is that you recover, which is possible with help and time. Usually people do best with a combination of therapy and medication, but neither are totally required. You need to find what works for you. I’m sending you peace.