I have been through PPD twice and am pregnant with my third. I’m trying even harder to prevent or treat my eventual PPD this time around. My question today is something that stems from those first two times.
When my son was born, I was over the moon but also a wreck with anxiety and depression. I did my very best, which were the essentials. As you know, every little task can seem daunting when dealing with PPD. I remember just bawling every time I looked at the small box of supplies from my home birth that sat next to my bed, waiting to be put away. I think it took me three months to actually do it.
So, pictures and baby books were out of the question. I did take pictures but to actually print them off, put them in a book and organize- the thought made me want to cry because I knew I couldn’t do it. I had no energy. Same thing with a baby book. We were so strapped for cash when my son was born that I never felt I could spare the extra $20 for a simple baby book.
Two-and-a-half years later my daughter was born and of course, I felt terrible about not having a baby book for the first, so I didn’t think I could start one for her! Although my PPD was different (much less anxious and weepy, much more angry at my husband, at the kids, at life- it actually took me ten months to recognize it as PPD, despite my keeping an eye out for it!), I still found it difficult to keep a photo album because I was just so behind on everything else. It caused anxiety. I didn’t know where to start.
So, I’m asking for some ideas about baby books. I actually think it would be really special and actually healing to start the project of putting these memories on display in an album, from my son’s birth (he’s 4 now!), through my daughter’s birth (nearly 2) and being ready for this wee one (due in January). It seems like such a small concern, but to me it would just make me feel like I’ve climbed another mountain, conquered another aspect of this PPD. It makes me feel like I’d be armed and ready, for this time around, proving that I’ve done it before and I can face it again (if it happens).
So, I was wondering if anyone else had a story like this, where an seeminly insignificant project meant something more to them; where taking a step to start and finish a project that intimidated them in the past was part of a healing. And, specifically, if anyone has any advice or help on starting this. I am not organized at all and still deal with some anxiety, so if I can “plan” it in little steps to complete, I think that would be great.
Also, any thoughts on the “no baby book” for one kid and starting one for another? Any creative ideas for creating the essence of a baby book after the fact? I tried to save all their growth stickers from the doctor, but even that seemed to be stressful. I just was trying to get through the day.
Thank you so much for listening.
So what do you think? Share your thoughts.
Photo credit: © pilipa – Fotolia.com