The Black Hole of Antenatal Depression

pregnancy depressionIt hurts me to see people I care about suffer from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like postpartum depression and antenatal depression. In fact, it hurts me to see people I’ve never even met suffering from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. I want to jump across time and space, right into their living rooms, and hug them and hold their hands and spend untold hours offering hope and giving them support. Sit with them at three in the morning when they can’t stop their minds from running. Recount the countless success stories I know. Show them the pictures of the Warrior Moms.

There should be a way to do that, right? Jump across time and space? Didn’t Einstein say that somewhere?

This is the case with Casey. I’ve been out of town, so I only just now read her post about antenatal depression (aka depression during pregnancy) over at Moosh in Indy. I hate this for her because even though both she and I know that she’ll get through it, being in the middle of antenatal depression (or any other mental illness related to pregnancy or childbirth) is like being in the middle of a black hole. All the light is sucked out. Anything that matters or is made of matter is ripped to shreds by massive forces. It’s hard to imagine that something in that many pieces could ever be put back together again.

It will be, though. It takes time. Help. Patience that it’s just so unfair to even ask someone to have.

Just hold on Casey. Hold on.

Photo credit: c Andrea Danti –

About Katherine Stone

is the founder of Postpartum Progress. She has been named a WebMD Health Hero, one of the fiercest women in America by More magazine, and one of the top 20 Social Media Moms by Working Mother magazine. She is a survivor of postpartum OCD.

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  1. Amen. 🙂 Well said.

  2. Hang on Casey…there's an army behind you trying to help you out of this nasty black hole.

  3. It's so true. I'll head on over and offer support. I wish we could just zap ourselves to those in need when they need us!

  4. i have had a similar experience, but since i had my beautiful boy i still get times when i sit and CRY! because i had a terrible dream in the 7th month of my pregnancy, where a little old man came out of a black halway, and told me i might die in three years. I SANK, cried, and stressed over this dream, and still do. will i die in three years is it something i should believe? or is it a type of PPA PPD i think i could relax and be a better mom if i knew it was a symptom of either thing

    • Katie, fears like the one you mentioned can definitely be caused by PPA. Are you seeking treatment? If you think getting a diagnosis and working through PPA could help you relax and be a better mom, then I say get help as soon as you can. There is no point in continuing to suffer.

      • to be real honest i havent got help or thought i needed it i just keep telling myself i will be ok. that dream has just put my life in a spin and i dont feel bad all the time, just sometimes when it over comes me i feel like i am going to just crash! i dont like that feeling–maybe i will feel better someday!