Why These Women Are Climbing Out of the Darkness of PPD

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climbing out of the darknessThis weekend, Postpartum Progress’ 3rd annual Climb Out of the Darkness will take place in cities in towns throughout the world. Some of the women participating, all of whom are survivors of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like PPD, have shared with us why they are Climbing. I know many of you will recognize your story in theirs, and I hope it inspires you to keep climbing out of the darkness.

Because I was very excited to be a mom.
Because I was told how wonderful it would be.
Because it was the complete opposite of wonderful.
Because I thought it was “just the Baby Blues.”
Because I knew it would be hard, but not miserable.
Because I felt like I was existing inside a great big cobweb of quiet anger.
Because I was terrified of that anger.
Because I wanted to reach out, but felt like nobody could truly see me or hear me.
Because I was faking it every day.
Because I was ashamed of how I felt.
Because I wanted to nurture and connect with my son, but the more I tried to connect, the more disconnected I became.
Because I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life.
Because my husband and I existed with a lonely chasm between us due to my inability to express what was happening inside of me.
Because I waited 15 months to find help.
Because Postpartum Progress was instrumental to my recovery.
Because I climbed out of the darkness of postpartum depression!
Because I love my son and my husband more than anything.
Because other moms need to know they are not alone in the darkness…
Because it’s scary to share the truth.
Because … I am a Warrior Mom! ~ Ali

I Climb for my daughter, my husband, my parents, and my in-laws. This was my support system in my darkest time. They were there when I wasn’t there mentally, emotionally or physically. They came to therapy and psychiatric appointments. They visited me in the hospital. They kept my daughter healthy and alive when I couldn’t. They woke up with me to feed Sophia. They kept calm and cool in a situation that should’ve driven them crazy with worry. They have my utmost gratitude and love.

I Climb for myself. Somehow I survived an ordeal that rattled my brain and mentality to points this depression sufferer never thought imaginable. I battled by going to therapy, admitting myself into the hospital and taking my meds. I came out stronger.

I Climb for other mothers who have, are or may suffer … To be their support, to show them they are not alone. There is a whole Warrior Mom Family out there to lean on. ~ Stephanie

Because I want better for every woman, child and family.  ~ Kristen

Because a co-worker once told me that only selfish people get PPD, and sadly her complete ignorance is not that uncommon.  ~ Teresa

My ‘baby’ turns 11 today. His pregnancy was what brought me here, to all of you. I was not sure we would make it through, but we did and EVERY SINGLE birthday he has makes me so very grateful. ~ Lara

My daughter turns two on Friday, and Monday will mark two years since my world was turned upside down by postpartum anxiety. I’ve been looking back at photos from when she was tiny and my heart breaks remembering how much I missed in my swamp of anxiety. And, because I expect so much more of myself than I’d ever expect of anyone else, I struggle with the knowledge that I STILL, two years later, am not back to “normal.” So, this week, I’m especially thankful for Postpartum Progress and all of you wonderful ladies. I’m grateful that I have a place to go when I’m feeling lost–a place where I know I’ll be understood. This is why I Climb, so that ALL mothers may know that they have a safe place too. ~ Amber

Because when I had my first I had NO idea what was wrong with me … I was even “taught” about PPD In a parenting class in high school. The only thing I ever heard about was a woman wanting to hurt herself or her baby. I was the complete opposite. I had a debilitating fear. After my second was born I hit rock bottom, and I started to realize how incredibly lucky I am to live in Grand Rapids. The support here is unlike anywhere. I now have a deep passion for working with moms with PPD, being involved makes me feel like I’m making a tiny difference in someone’s life. I want to be apart of the change, and I want every city in the world to have the kind of help and support that we have in GR. Women deserve it. ~ Tabitha

I climb for my brother, sister-in-law and my nephew. I climb to support them and also to encourage others to get help with postpartum depression. I climb because it doesn’t just affect the mom in the family, it takes it’s toll on dad and baby, too. I climb because both of my sisters-in-law have experienced PPD, and they are worth speaking up for. I climb because of the countless friends who have suffered in silence, who had nowhere to turn. I climb because even though I can’t conceive a child I know the impact of a new baby on a family. I climb because Topeka has very few resources to help new moms with PPD. ~ Melanie

I’m climbing because I was ashamed to be diagnosed and I waited forever to get help because of it. I am climbing because I want to help find those moms that are afraid to say anything and tell them there is power in their voice.

I climb because there was a point in time where I did not want to be here anymore; and thankfully, I survived that to be the advocate I am today.

And most importantly, I climb because there is a strong genetic link to my diagnosis, and I want my little girl to know it’s okay to ask for help. And if she does get PPD I want her to know it’s okay to seek treatment and that I will be here to guide her along the way! ~ Christina

I climb because I know what the darkest pit looks like and now I know what the top (or at least close) looks like. I climb because I know how it feels to think you can’t take another step and continue pushing further up that hill. I climb because I know what it feels like to think you have no hope and I know what it feels like to find Postpartum Progress and realize that I am not alone. And finally, I climb because without this group and without this climb, I don’t know where I would be but today I can stand here, loving my two babies more than anything in the world, and hopefully help others who are or have been in the same place. ~ Rebecca

I grew up without my mom present in my life and I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to grow up with a healthy mom and I want moms everywhere to get help even if they aren’t feeling strong enough to seek it out themselves. I want them all to know that self-care is not selfish. Postpartum Progress helped save me. I’m so glad I’m still here for these cuties! ~ Lucy

I’m climbing for myself and every mother who has struggled with postpartum depression and other perinatal mental illnesses.

I’m climbing to raise awareness and erase the stigma attached to mental illness. When a woman becomes a mother she expects (and is expected) to be on cloud nine. When she doesn’t feel ecstatic, it can be very upsetting. And when a mother feels absolutely awful it can cause her to become reclusive.

Society makes it so hard for women to admit that their thoughts and emotions aren’t normal because they feel shame. I want to change that ~ Jolene

I am “climbing” because I know the struggles of depression. Everyone deserves to have a “winning” chance at life. Your support team, whether it’s the community, family, friends, church, therapist, or coworkers can make a huge difference to finding a path that’s right for you to succeed. This group can help so many that struggle with PPD and is an outlet where they can not only receive help, but find some kind of normalcy. ~ Christal

I climb because I worked HARD to get here. My family is strong because I am, they have traveled this road with me! I push every day to climb out of the darkness! ~ Heidi

I am climbing for my two little superheroes. Because they saved me in so many ways. ~ Avery

I climb so others don’t feel alone. I am 16 weeks pregnant and am hopeful that I have the knowledge to make my next postpartum period much better even if PPD comes back. Knowledge is my fight song. ~Alicia

I climb for mamas and families who have struggled and who might struggle. I felt so alone during my battle and I’d give anything to help another mama not feel that way. ~ Anna

I’m climbing for my little peanut and for all the mamas out there fighting! Six months postpartum! I thought I’d never get to this point or feel like myself again. So grateful for my support team and Postpartum Progress! ~ Sylvia

I am Climbing so that other moms can also enjoy moments like this without guilt or shame over all the moments they missed because of postpartum depression and anxiety. So that every last mother who wonders if her illness ruined her child forever can be present enough to realize that the answer is an emphatic “no.” So that the hundreds of thousands of us who were and are in the darkness of mental illness – and all those who love us – can rise up to bring each other into the light of transparency and community. ~ Bethany

I am in the midst of recovery again, though light years ahead of where I was four years ago. So this year, I Climb for myself, my two incredible daughters and the husband that has been my rock throughout both struggles. I Climb for the mothers who are suffering silently in shame, and those suffering who don’t even know that this is not how motherhood is supposed to be. And most importantly I talk to anyone that will listen, in the hopes that anyone who knows a mom that may benefit from my experience can and will share it. ~ Lesley

Why I climb…
– in celebration of coming through hell
– in thanksgiving for the deep love I now have for my son
– in support of all the other mamas out there who struggle
– to make people aware of the seriousness of PPD and related illnesses
– because “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it any more” that maternal mental illnesses aren’t taken seriously by some, and that so many medical providers have no idea how to handle any cases they encounter.
– to show that I’m a SURVIVOR and a WARRIOR ~ Mariah

Why I climb… Because I miss “me.” Because my husband misses “me.” And my kids should know the full “me,” too. ~ Jessica

I climb because 4 years ago I was crippled in fear of my thoughts. I could not move, nor did I want to.
But Postpartum Progress opened my eyes and had me name my illness, postpartum OCD & depression.
There is hope, it is not permanent. ~ Chrissy

As of this morning, there are more than 2,100 Climbers registered to participate in Climb Out of the Darkness, and they have raised $191,000 for Postpartum Progress. If you’d like to register to join us or to donate to help us reach our $200,000 goal this year, visit https://www.crowdrise.com/COTD2015.

Photo credit: Fotolia/jessivanova


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Postpartum Progress Impact Report 2014

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Postpartum Progress Mission 2014

If you’re like me, Postpartum Progress has impacted your life in more ways than one. After having my daughter in 2010, I discovered this powerful community of Warrior Moms at a time when I needed it most. I not only found invaluable information, but also felt the kindness, care and dedication of so many during my own journey through treatment and recovery. I hope you have too, because truly we are none of us alone.

There are many volunteers who work behind the scenes of this passionate organization, and I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you. Your time and talents make the recently released 2014 Postpartum Progress Impact Report possible. Our many programs and campaigns are coordinated by those who strongly believe in our mission, those who offer their time and talents to make these programs a success.

Postpartum Progress IS making an impact in many communities. Below are just a few highlights, but I encourage you to check out the complete report here.

Postpartum Progress 2014 ReachMaternal Mental Health Awareness

Increasing awareness has always been a primary mission. To that end, Postpartum Progress develops and provides materials at not cost to help moms identify PPD and related illnesses, reduce stigma, and encourage mothers to seek professional help. In 2014, 4,250 of our new discreet, pocket-sized “Hugs Cards” were distributed to local peer advocates across the country to share information on where moms can access the free resources and support we provide. Our new Tools page, offers free downloads of our most popular patient resources, including a new 2014 infographic about the negative downstream consequences of untreated PPD.

PostpartumProgress.com and Other Media Reach

Individuals from more than 200 countries visited PostpartumProgress.com in 2014 at a rate of 1.6 million pageviews, with most traffic coming from the US, UK, Canada, Australia, India, Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa, Philippines and Singapore. We continue to reach growing numbers of women and families via our social media channels.

Our reach into other media included a feature on BuzzFeed “Can You Tell a Mom has Postpartum Depression Just by Looking at Her,” which garnered more than 275,000 pageviews in the US alone, and was translated into Spanish and French for global audiences. We were proud to be featured on the national Healthy Mother, Healthy Babies Coalition blog in May during Maternal Mental Health Month, as well as in a full page story in Woman’s World magazine, a supermarket weekly with 1.6 million readers. Also in 2014, we were honored with the Iris Award at the Mom 2.0 Summit in the category of Industry Influence – Philanthropic Work, given for excellence and quality in parent blogging and social media.

Climb Out of the Darkness

Our 2nd Annual Climb Out of the Darkness saw tremendous growth and excitement from 200 participants to 2013 to more than 1,500 last year. Awareness is a major objective of the Climb, and we were thrilled to see the event covered by CNN, The New York Times‘ Motherlode blog, and numerous local newspaper and television news outlets. “It is abundantly clear that Warrior Moms needed an event to call their own, where they could turn their shame upside down and let the world know how important it is to recognize their illnesses,” said Postpartum Progress Executive Director Katherine Stone. Be sure to join us for our 3rd Annual Climb Out of the Darkness on June 20, 2015.

Peer Support & Community

Peer support and community is a vital part of the Postpartum Progress mission. We are truly stronger together. Our Smart Patients private support forum for moms currently struggling with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders grew from 230 members in 2013 to 1,600, many of whom have no access to support groups where they live. And in 2014 we announced we’d be hosting the first patient-centered conference on maternal mental illness, the Warrior Mom Conference, to be held in Boston in July 2015. If you are unable to attend, please join our fellow Homestead Warriors.


Postpartum Progress is interested in collaborating with organizations to not only measure the impact of our own work but to help identify new and better ways to support moms. In 2014, we conducted our first audience impact survey, which revealed that users of Postpartum Progress’ resources are influenced to both seek professional help and speak out about their illnesses with others. For more information about this survey and our first foray into research collaboration, please visit the 2104 Impact Report.

Looking Ahead in 2015

There are many great things to come this year and beyond for Postpartum Progress. “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for supporting our efforts. We couldn’t do any of this without you,” said Katherine Stone.

I couldn’t agree more. It’s the amazing individuals who volunteer their time and those who raise funds that make these programs possible. I for one am profoundly grateful to all of you.

For more information, read the full 2014 Postpartum Progress Impact Report.

Warrior Mom


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A Whole Lotta Warrior Moms Say Thank You, Katherine, for 10 AMAZING Years

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Katherine ComputerI dove headfirst into blogging about Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders because of Karen Kleiman.

But I grew into an online advocate because of Katherine Stone. She embraced me as I fumbled through the early days of running a blog, a website for struggling women, and my third pregnancy after two terrifying episodes of Postpartum OCD (which, incidentally, is what Katherine also struggled with during her experience with a PMAD).

If I had a question about something online, I turned to Katherine. She always got back to me and sometimes prodded me to do more and be more involved. More importantly, she always treated me as if I were equal to her, this amazing woman who had no fear about discussing the nitty gritty about PMAD’s online.

Postpartum Support International dragged me onto FB but where I flourished was on Twitter. I noticed, back in the early days of Twitter, that people were having these “parties” for certain products. I thought to myself, why can’t we do that for PPD? I floated the idea by Katherine and a couple other bloggers (Amber and Ivy). They were absolutely on board and Katherine whole-heartedly supported the beginning of #PPDChat.

#PPDChat is now the go-to hashtag for PMAD support on FB. There’s a closed FB group with over 350 members. I may have started it, but it wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the experience, support, and genuine caring flowing from Katherine in my early online days.

She inspires more than simple advocacy (although few of us would dare call it simple – it is EXHAUSTING but worthy), she saves lives, she kicks stigma in the ass repeatedly, and genuinely cares about the people who reach out to her.

I don’t think she has any idea how many lives she has changed. How many advocates now exist because of her decision to live her life out loud. To stand up, shouting until she is heard, when the world expects us to sit down and be quiet. The passion in her heart far exceeds capacity and overflows abundantly to those around her.

To her family, a sincere and heartfelt thank you as well for sharing the woman of your lives with us. For without your support, all of us would not be the women we are today. I would be remiss to not acknowledge your important role in Katherine’s work.

Be proud – your wife, your mother, your daughter – she saves lives.

Below are several blog posts, written by women who celebrate how Katherine has affected their lives. To read them, you will need a box of Kleenex. These are women from all walks of life, women who found themselves covered in the dark mud of a PMAD but were yanked out of it by Katherine or found Katherine after they found their way out and now reach down behind them along with Katherine to rescue others who find themselves trapped in the mud hole of a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder. (Because let’s face it, no one wants to go muddin’ in a PMAD!)

Katherine, you’re changing the world with every breath you take, every stroke of the keyboard, every post, every outreach, every encounter, every awkward step outside of your comfort zone. You are loved, your work has wrapped the world over and made it a brighter place. We are always climbing out of the darkness with you and we will never stop.

Keep on keepin’ on, lady.

You’re not alone, and neither are we.


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Jenny @ Tranquilamama: My Lifeline Through PPD & PPA

Robin @ Farewell Stranger: Postpartum Progress: 10 Years of Magic

Jennifer @ Bipolar Mom Life: The Relief In Finding Postpartum Progress

Danielle @ Velveteen Mama: My Postpartum Progress

Charity @ Giggles & Grimaces: Hope In A Computer

Jenny @ Jenny Kavensky’s Blog: It Takes a Village

Erin @ Erin Margolin: Happy Tenth Anniversary, Postpartum Progress

Morra Aarons-Mele @ Women & Work: In Celebration of Katherine Stone and 10 years of Postpartum Progress

Tina Duepner @ The Duepners: Cheers to 10 Years

Esther @ Journey Through PPD: Happy 10th Anniversary To Postpartum Progress

Ravion Lee @ Vain Mommy: Postpartum Progress Turns 10: The Woman Behind The Change

Kristina @ Sew Curly: Postpartum Progress Is 10

Rita Arens @ Surrender Dorothy: In Celebration of Katherine Stone

Katie Sluiter @ Sluiter Nation: I Am Not Alone and Neither are You

Cristi Comes @ Motherhood Unadorned: Postpartum Progress: Kicking Ass for 10 Years!

Tabatha @ Tabulous: A Love Letter To The Woman Who Saved My Life

Susan @ Learned Happiness: First and Last: Happy Anniversary, Postpartum Progress!

Deborah Forhan Rimmler via My Postpartum Voice: Guest Post – On Meeting An Angel

Beth @ Beth Bone: Thank You Just Doesn’t Seem Enough

Andrea @ Good Girl Gone Redneck: Happy 10th Anniversary, Postpartum Progress

Julia Roberts (not THAT one, the other one!) via Postpartum Progress: The Man Behind the Woman Behind Postpartum Progress

Jess @ Just Jess In the ATX (note – this was not written for the anniversary specifically but was shared to the FB page for the blogathon to show the impact Katherine had on Jess’ life and recovery, therefore, it’s shared here): Picture Perfect 

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Will you ever get better from postpartum depression?

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Climb Out of the DarknessWill I ever get better from postpartum depression? Will I ever get back to the old me, the one who wasn’t like this? Will I ever recover from postpartum anxiety? Or postpartum OCD? Will my pregnancy depression ever go away entirely? My psychosis? Am I permanently “crazy”? Is it even possible that I’ll fully recover and go back to “normal”?

I think almost every mom I’ve ever talked to over these last ten years, no matter which maternal mental illness she has, has been convinced she’d never recover. She’ll be the special case that doesn’t respond to any treatment for postpartum depression or related illnesses. She’ll be the one who improves but never, ever really gets back to her old self. You’re all convinced that there’s no way this will ever go away. That you are permanently scarred or ruined in some way and will forever suffer. And I always tell you, you’ll see. One day I’ll get to say, “I told you so.” You will get back to the you that you’ve always been. You will get back in the world again. 

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are real illnesses. They don’t just go away on their own, especially if you have moderate to severe symptoms. They require professional help. But there IS help. It’s not like we’re still searching for the cure. There are people who know exactly how to help you. And with that help you will get better. You will get back to you.

In honor of our worldwide event Climb Out of the Darkness this month, Postpartum Progress put together a special video just for you, featuring the music of British singer-songwriter and Grammy-nominated artist David Gray. I want you to look very carefully at the faces in this video, because every single one of these Warrior Moms was once in the same awful, dark place and each believed fully that she’d never get better.  But she did. They did. They’re back. And you will be too. Meantime, know you are not alone. The Warrior Moms of Postpartum Progress are with you.  

If you’d like to join Climb Out of the Darkness, please do. We’d love to have you. Find your local climb here. And no, you don’t have to be fully back or even partway recovered to Climb. We’d love to have you with us no matter where you are on this journey.

I have to extend a very special thanks to David Gray for allowing Postpartum Progress to use this amazing song as the official song of the 2nd annual Climb Out of the Darkness. His new album, Mutineers, is dropping June 17th, and “Back in the World” is the first single released from that album. This song helps symbolize that you can get back in the world and back to yourself again, even if you struggle from postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum psychosis, pregnancy depression, and more.  Gray has also just announced a North American summer tour. Tickets went on sale Friday, June 6th, for the 23-city outing kicking off on August 1st and heading to places like Boston, New York City, Atlanta, Charlotte, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Las Vegas and San Diego. Get tickets here! Here’s the official video of the song if you’d like to check it out as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBS6UgiYTr4.

I’d also like to send all my gratitude to my amazing friend Barbara Jones of One 2 One Network who made this video happen, and Nick Romero of Moded Films for editing the video.


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