My job here at Postpartum Progress, the job I happily take up every single day, istell you it’s going to be okay, and to show you that what you are going through is not unlike what lots of other moms with PPD and PPA and PPOCD are going through.
You. Are. Going. To. Be. Okay.
In the past few days I’ve had several wonderful phone conversations with moms who are suffering. (So happy to talk with you ladies!) I would never, of course, betray their confidence by talking about who they were or exactly what they said. What I can say, though, is that they and so many of you have the same questions:
Is this normal?
Do other moms with PPD/PPA/PPOCD/APD have the same experiences?
Am I one of the ones who will never get better?
The answer is yes, the other moms are having the same experiences, and no, you are not a lost cause.
I can’t express to you how much I understand why you are worried. I understand how you feel. Iknow you are scared out of your wits. I know you are concerned that this isyour new reality. I understand why you have these questions, because I had them too. I deeply understand and acknowledge your feelings.
I also understand that you are desperate to talk to someone who gets it. Fact is, most people don’t get it. Not your friends, or your family members or your partners. How could they? Even the oneswho are really trying? Would you have gotten it before you had postpartum depression? Would any of this have made sense to you?It certainly wouldn’t have to me.
It is difficult if notimpossible to communicate to someonehow you can feel a way that you don’t want to, or aren’t choosing to.To this day, I have NEVER been able to satisfactorily explain to those who love me and believe in me how I could have an intrusive thought. No onecan comprehend the idea of having a thought inyour brain that you didn’t put there. Nor can I explain why someone with so many blessings in her life would be so completely unable to enjoy any of them. It happens, though. I’m proof. You are too.
So listen up: Don’t fight against the fact that others may not understand. Don’t be mad at them because they don’t get it. Don’t assume that no one will ever get it, that no one can help you or that no one cares. Instead, share your worries and fears and disappointment with us. Talk. Cry. Shout. Bitch. Tell us how much this TOTALLY SUCKS. That’s why we’re here.
Talk to me. Go to a PPD support group. Get Daily Hope. Chat with the Warrior Moms on our Facebook page. Read the mamas on my postpartum depression blogroll. You don’t have to keep this inside, or be ashamed. We went before you and we know the path out. We DO get it, and we KNOW without any doubt that you will get better. You are NOT alone.