postpartum depression stigmaI got an email from a mom this week who, in her story of frustration over the lack of help for postpartum depression, made sure to let me know how successful she is.

She’s smart. She has a great job. She makes good money, she told me.  Her words struck me.  How many of us, when seeking help for our mental illness, feel we have to make sure people know we are competent individuals?

I know I did.  I felt that I had to prove to people that I was still worthy.

Hey doc, I may have postpartum OCD, but I swear I’m a good person.  I have a great title at work.  I was in the National Honor Society in high school.  I was in Who’s Who Among American Universities & Colleges. I’m intelligent.  I have a lot of achievements. Please don’t throw me in the trash heap …

It’s a reflection of society’s stigma of mental illness that we feel compelled to share a laundry list of our accomplishments so that we can prove our value despite postpartum depression.   Is it because the automatic assumption is that anyone who has a mental illness is not worthy or capable?  That women with postpartum depression, or any other mental illness for that matter, must come from the dregs of society?

I don’t smoke.  I don’t take drugs. I pay my taxes. I was voted Most Talented in my high school class. Please don’t think I’m stupid or unsafe …

People who have mental illness like postpartum depression shouldn’t need to justify themselves.  Besides, what if you don’t make a lot of money or didn’t get a high score on your SATs? Should that mean you are less worthy than the mom who did?  No.

I want you to know that you don’t need to convince me you’re a good person.  I already know.  And I look forward to the day when we can speak with the doctor, or a friend or neighbor, and say we’re suffering without having to follow that up with our curriculum vitae.

I’ve never been arrested.  I give to charity.  I wash behind my ears …