I should really go to sleep. Well, maybe not. Too many interesting things to read. I'll pay for this in the morning, but some amazing Warrior Moms on the web are talking about their experience and pointing out some very interesting issues related to perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. All I can say is Wow. What honesty and what interesting discussions. Really great.
First, the mom at Sophie in the Moonlight writes about her lifetime of mental illness, including her experience with postpartum depression. After the first few paragraphs you may think her story is going downhill fast, what with suicide attempts and other awful things, but keep reading. She's got a great story of rising up. I particularly love her writing on what she calls Thought Monkeys, her name for "… those incredibly destructive, deeply internalized, mischievous thoughts that jump and screech inside my mind, demanding attention, demanding action NOW." Read more about her Thought Monkeys and see if you don't recognize some of thosemiserable little critters yourself. I did. She also shares how she used self-talk over time to banish the monkeys. Great stuff.
Then there's Kristin at babyREADY writing about thinking that her uncontrollable anger, irritability, resentmentsand impatience couldn't possibly have had anything to do with postpartum depression. After all, she wasn't crying. She didn't feel depressed. Thankfully she found a bright spot in the medical world: a doctor who knew that one size doesn't fit all when it comes to PPD. Great piece on the angry side of PPD.
And finally, the mom at Barely Knit Together writesa couple pieces about breastfeeding and being treated for postpartum depression. One thing that makes me sad about this is she did an unscientificsurvey onthe issue, and the majority ofwomen said they'd choose tokeep breastfeeding and suffer through the depression rather than wean or take medication and continuebreastfeeding. I hate when women feel that they must sacrifice themselves, and I always worry about the fact that they must not knowthe types of long-term negative impacton both the mom andthe baby that can result from untreated postpartum depression. Make sure to read both Part1 and Part 2 of the Elephantin the Living Room.
Thank you for the mention. I cannot begin to tell you how verklempt I am at this moment that you are giving me the opportunity to be able to be of help or hope to other moms going through the devastation that is PPD. When I was struggling with PPD 7 years ago, I would never ever ever have been able to imagine that I would be able to survive it, much less develop coping skills that I would have the opportunity to share with others.
I am profoundly grateful for my hard-earned health and grateful to you for sharing my experience with your readers. I'm going to add a link to your blog for other PPD readers of mine.
It doesn't surprise me about women not willing to stop breastfeeding to take meds. In today's society it is all about the babies. While I get that we have an obligation to care of our children as best we can…I do not agree that we have to sacrifice ourselves. If we can't even function as a mother, then all the breastfeeding in the world isn't going to change the fact that the baby will not thrive as much as if you are a happy and mentally healthy mom.
I tried to bf my son…it didn't work out (long story short). This time with my daughter I decided not to even try because of the issues I had last time and my PPD. I can tell you that we are a much happier family!
Remember, if you are happy and taking seeing to the needs of your baby even if it means a bottle…your baby will think you are the most perfect mom in the world. It isn't anyone else's business.
Thank you so much for the link to me, and for your excellent take on the situation. I just sat down to work on the final installment, which I will post via Blogher. It will be my personal story.
I had a thought about my poll, or maybe a couple of thoughts:
1. The response was VERY small. As a preacher of evidence-based everything, my take on the stats would be that the sample was much to small for meaningful results.
2. I think that most likely, many of the women who answered the poll were not suffering the sort of severe PPD I and many others have struggled with. Of course, this is only a guess.
I think many pro-breastfeeding moms, of which I am one, do end up feeling so defensive of it that they can be blinded to the real needs and issues that some women face. So many women give up for reasons that just don't ring true, or that we can dismiss as them not having enough information or help. I think it makes it hard to hear when a woman is truly suffering and cannot continue to breastfeed.
My dearest hope is that some day, we will not be so polarized that we can't entertain thoughts of a middle ground. Until then, let's just keep the dialogue open, no matter how difficult it can be.