Arriving on Christmas day with those beautiful pink chubby cheeks and eyes of curiosity….

So tiny, so beautiful, this life filled baby squirming, watching, anticipating.

A new life… what mother could ask for more.

Ten little fingers, ten little toes, a beautiful healthy baby girl.

Home from the hospital it all feels surreal, this baby to treasure. We celebrate she’s here!

What happened next, I wish I understood.

Oh if I could.

Darkness and fear have settled in.

It’s all too much where do I begin?

Postpartum they call it and promise it won’t last.

It’s been twelve weeks. I just want my mind back.

Overwhelmed, my mind's always racing,

It never ends the organizing, cleaning, pacing.

Bursts of energy, thoughts that race,

If I could slow down just long enough to concentrate.

Tears fall sporadically night and day…

Can someone please take this pain away?

Doctors prescribe meds and friends are there to listen

But at the end of the day fear closes in.

The sessions, the medications, the attempts to heal me

When will I be free of this anxiety?

Loss of interest, loss of appetite

Please dear God no more nightmares tonight.

I’m sick of living in this gray, in this anxious sorrow.

I choose to have hope for today, for tomorrow.

I know the sun is shining, I can feel its rays.

My baby is beautiful, I am thankful in so many ways.

Jesus, I know you're there, I know you're watching over me.

Squeeze my hand tightly so I can feel you through this insanity.

Remind me Lord that trials make us stronger

Then give me the patience to hold on one day longer.

This beautiful poem was written by Barb Lynch, who has gone through postpartum depression twice.