When Postpartum Depression Makes You a Stranger to Yourself

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for p p dSeeing someone struggling through postpartum depression and anxiety cracks my heart wide open. I don’t care if I’m a stranger to them or not, I want to take their hands into mine and tell them to trust me.

I want them to believe me when I tell them I have been where they are, in that frightening place when you’re filled more with fear and pain than strength. When you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person looking back.

I want them to listen when I say that I have lived in the skin they are in now, when you are not who you used to be.

I have walked through those days, those hard days, when you’re too frightened to look anyone in the eye because you don’t want them to see straight through to the dark despair and hopelessness that fill your head.

I have been there. The days of pulling clothes out of the closet and letting them fall over my body, wondering where the person is who used to wear them. I remember sitting in the driver’s seat of my car and it didn’t feel like it belonged to the person who now sat there.

These days are anything but easy. Living through postpartum depression is harder than we can ever explain. We struggle to give words to the choking jumble of our thoughts. We want to be heard, but when someone asks us to tell them how they can help, we can only break down in tears.

Postpartum depression is a wall that hides our strength from us. It won’t let light in so we are unable to see how tough we are. The dark clouds of this time block the real view, the one that would show our determination to get better.

We are still there, behind the empty sadness in our eyes, there is the fight and fire we need to recover. We are imperfect in this life, we are lost, confused and we are more scared than we have ever been. When our lives become survival for one moment at a time, our souls can’t rest to see the beautiful spirit of survival that lives within us.

I want those in the heartbreaking midst of postpartum depression to trust me, as hard as it is. We need to believe that inside we have what we need to make it through. It’s a leap of faith, a desperate grab at hope, but it’s necessary.

I want them to hear this message of hope, so that they fight, so that they keep fighting. Because it is the promise of hope that someone asked me to believe in during my own postpartum depression, that saved me.

You will see this through to the other side.
You’re not alone.
You will find yourself again.

Someone once promised me that I would be myself again. I was too scared to believe that who I once was, was still there. What if I wasn’t going to get better? What I would have told the frightened new mom that I was back then, would be this, You may feel like you’re in a thousand irretrievable pieces right now–too broken beyond anything that can be made whole again. But believe that you will heal.

You will find happiness again. The numbness will lift one day and you will hear yourself laugh. The sound of it will surprise you so much that you’ll laugh a second time from the joy of it. You will look in the mirror one morning, and this time the eyes you see back will dance and shine. And you will come back stronger than you ever thought you could be.

You are still there, inside.

Even if now you feel lost, scared and alone, you are there.

Please let my words here be the ones that take you by the hand and hold you until you are back home again. Reach out, ask for help, don’t stop until you feel you are getting the care you need. Believe that with time, professional care and treatment, and the support of your PPD community, that the help you need to find the way back to you again will be there.

The incredible you that you used to be is still there. You will find yourself again. And just as I did, you will smile again.

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Announcing the Warrior Mom™ Conference Schedule

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Warrior Mom ConferenceThere are only 37 days until Warrior Moms from around the world gather in Boston for the first ever patient-centered conference on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.  And as we get closer to this groundbreaking event, we have some exciting news to share as we welcome Cotton Babies as our national conference sponsor!

For years we have urged the business community to recognize the significance of how perinatal mood and anxiety disorders deeply affect women and children. We have asked them to support our work, but it has fallen on deaf ears. This is why our gratitude to Cotton Babies knows no bounds. A corporation is recognizing how important maternal mental health is and by supporting our conference they are making a statement publicly that they stand by and support Warrior Moms. We can’t wait to work with them and we can’t wait for you to meet them at the Conference! Thank you Cotton Babies!

Cotton Babies Brandmark-Final

We’re also excited to release our conference schedule to the public this week – you can find our 2015 Speakers & Agenda on the Warrior Mom™ Conference Webpage.  We still have a few tricks up our sleeves and a few details to announce, so stay tuned and be sure you’re following all the latest Warrior Mom™ Conference news on our dedicated Facebook page!

Lastly, if you haven’t sent in your art, stories, and poems to the Warrior Mom Wall project, you still have until June 15th!  Find out all you need to know so you can be included in the final art project and have your work shared on the @postpartumprogress instagram account!

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Warrior Mom Wall Announcement

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pencil-432613_640We all have stories to tell.

Stories filled with victories, with curve balls, and stories filled with heart.

We want YOUR stories on our Warrior Wall at Postpartum Progress’ first Warrior Mom Conference, the first EVER patient-centered maternal mental health conference.

How do you participate, you wonder?

Easy:

Grab some paper. One page only, no larger than 8.5×11 inches.

Write a note of inspiration or a few lines of your story. Draw. Whatever will fit on your chosen paper that you’re inspired to share with us.

Then slap a stamp on that bad boy and mail it to the following address before June 15:

Lauren Hale

P.O. Box 20791

Lehigh Valley, PA 18002-0791

What will happen to it once it’s received?

We’ll be snapping pictures of the artwork/stories and sharing them on the Postpartum Progress Instagram account as they come in*, then all of this lovely Warrior Mail will be organized into a piece of art to be displayed in Boston at the Warrior Mom Conference.

We cannot wait to see what you have to share with us!

 

*Sending in a postcard implies an agreement to allow Postpartum Progress to share and disseminate your submission as we see fit in association with the promotion of the project for which it was submitted as well as for the Warrior Mom Conference, for which the project is a component.

*If your piece incorporates or promotes a website, it will not be included in the Warrior Wall display unless the referral is easily removed from the submission. If you wish to advertise/sponsor the Warrior Mom Conference, please reach out to Susan Petcher at wmc(@)postpartumprogress.org.

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Postpartum Progress Impact Report 2014

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Postpartum Progress Mission 2014

If you’re like me, Postpartum Progress has impacted your life in more ways than one. After having my daughter in 2010, I discovered this powerful community of Warrior Moms at a time when I needed it most. I not only found invaluable information, but also felt the kindness, care and dedication of so many during my own journey through treatment and recovery. I hope you have too, because truly we are none of us alone.

There are many volunteers who work behind the scenes of this passionate organization, and I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you. Your time and talents make the recently released 2014 Postpartum Progress Impact Report possible. Our many programs and campaigns are coordinated by those who strongly believe in our mission, those who offer their time and talents to make these programs a success.

Postpartum Progress IS making an impact in many communities. Below are just a few highlights, but I encourage you to check out the complete report here.

Postpartum Progress 2014 ReachMaternal Mental Health Awareness

Increasing awareness has always been a primary mission. To that end, Postpartum Progress develops and provides materials at not cost to help moms identify PPD and related illnesses, reduce stigma, and encourage mothers to seek professional help. In 2014, 4,250 of our new discreet, pocket-sized “Hugs Cards” were distributed to local peer advocates across the country to share information on where moms can access the free resources and support we provide. Our new Tools page, offers free downloads of our most popular patient resources, including a new 2014 infographic about the negative downstream consequences of untreated PPD.

PostpartumProgress.com and Other Media Reach

Individuals from more than 200 countries visited PostpartumProgress.com in 2014 at a rate of 1.6 million pageviews, with most traffic coming from the US, UK, Canada, Australia, India, Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa, Philippines and Singapore. We continue to reach growing numbers of women and families via our social media channels.

Our reach into other media included a feature on BuzzFeed “Can You Tell a Mom has Postpartum Depression Just by Looking at Her,” which garnered more than 275,000 pageviews in the US alone, and was translated into Spanish and French for global audiences. We were proud to be featured on the national Healthy Mother, Healthy Babies Coalition blog in May during Maternal Mental Health Month, as well as in a full page story in Woman’s World magazine, a supermarket weekly with 1.6 million readers. Also in 2014, we were honored with the Iris Award at the Mom 2.0 Summit in the category of Industry Influence – Philanthropic Work, given for excellence and quality in parent blogging and social media.

Climb Out of the Darkness

Our 2nd Annual Climb Out of the Darkness saw tremendous growth and excitement from 200 participants to 2013 to more than 1,500 last year. Awareness is a major objective of the Climb, and we were thrilled to see the event covered by CNN, The New York Times‘ Motherlode blog, and numerous local newspaper and television news outlets. “It is abundantly clear that Warrior Moms needed an event to call their own, where they could turn their shame upside down and let the world know how important it is to recognize their illnesses,” said Postpartum Progress Executive Director Katherine Stone. Be sure to join us for our 3rd Annual Climb Out of the Darkness on June 20, 2015.

Peer Support & Community

Peer support and community is a vital part of the Postpartum Progress mission. We are truly stronger together. Our Smart Patients private support forum for moms currently struggling with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders grew from 230 members in 2013 to 1,600, many of whom have no access to support groups where they live. And in 2014 we announced we’d be hosting the first patient-centered conference on maternal mental illness, the Warrior Mom Conference, to be held in Boston in July 2015. If you are unable to attend, please join our fellow Homestead Warriors.

Research

Postpartum Progress is interested in collaborating with organizations to not only measure the impact of our own work but to help identify new and better ways to support moms. In 2014, we conducted our first audience impact survey, which revealed that users of Postpartum Progress’ resources are influenced to both seek professional help and speak out about their illnesses with others. For more information about this survey and our first foray into research collaboration, please visit the 2104 Impact Report.

Looking Ahead in 2015

There are many great things to come this year and beyond for Postpartum Progress. “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for supporting our efforts. We couldn’t do any of this without you,” said Katherine Stone.

I couldn’t agree more. It’s the amazing individuals who volunteer their time and those who raise funds that make these programs possible. I for one am profoundly grateful to all of you.

For more information, read the full 2014 Postpartum Progress Impact Report.

Warrior Mom

 

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